Was he detective constable then?
Will Cam has a permanently erected one person tent at a pitch he paid 30p for in 1973. And he still uses it for his annual holiday.
Make an unfounded claim about the poster above you Page 15
Alfred J Kipper once lent my tent and left poopy-pants in the corner.
Will Cam owns a replica of Vincent Van Gogh's missing ear made entirely from fondant icing and goats cheese. It is being entred into the edible category at the 37th annual celebrity body parts competition which is being held in Nairobi, Kenya this October.
Tuumble is an anagram of 'lick the sticky eyes of a tramp called Colin who used to be a teacher in Clyde but reacted badly to an OFSTED inspection in 1989"
Will Cam only licks pussy that has tested positive for STD.
Charley faked the moon landings using only bungee ropes & a Button Moon poster as a backdrop.
Steve Sunshine has a terrible phobia of moustaches and used to cry during Magnum PI.
Sootjy is twinned with Chernobyl and has a lively market square where you can get 3 packs of white socks for £5.
Will Cam had a thriving garden gnome refurbishment business which he sold in 1997 to Hurricane Higgins - in exchange for the Hurricane chalking-up Will's tip 3 times weekly.
The contractual agreement ended recently.
Juan Kerr has been Chip 'n Dale's agent since 1965. His biggest achievement to date is getting them on the Jerry Springer show where Chip revealed he is a pre-op transexual. Juan also knits onion bhajis to make ends meet.
Will Cam adopts orphans from around the world - he makes them cry by showing them pictures of dead Disney characters. He collects their tears, mixes them with puppies'saliva and sells the mixture as a sexual lubricant to Amsterdam whore houses. He's making a fortune.
Juan Kerr is Ann Widdecombe's toyboy.
Timbo wishes he could write sketches as good as mine. Unless I tell him my secret sketch-writing formula he will jump off a tall building.
Frankie (had to change it quick)fingers orange goldfish! 
Charley sells damp, musty second-hand overcoats on Wolverhampton market - as a sales agent for Bonnie Langford. Her commission is in the form of decomposing otters' bladders - which she flash fries and eats with fat chips.