British Comedy Guide

Make an unfounded claim about the poster above you Page 142

Brian Brane's Drains are full of ????

'walt' is the destroyer of Worlds.

Brian keeps his penis in a Tupperware box in his shed

It only comes out on very special occasions

"lofty" lofthouse is cruel to cats, making them wear human clothes and wigs to pose for artistic photographs.

Booo makes soap from kitten's spines. She throws the rest away.

Will Cam is the jealous type. He once coshed an old lady for picking up a bag of haribo that he may or may not have bought.

Will Cam refuses to recognise Humberside as a legitimate county of England, is fearful of their 'foreign ways' and often refers to them as 'the Glanford Kurds'.

Renegade Car park knits despair from Lionel Blair's armpit hair. He sells it on the BCG as candy floss.

Will Cam has a bruise on his left upper thigh. No one is yet sure what has caused it. Speculation has led to something rude.

Bill Jaguar is named after the car his parents conceived him in - the Ford Bill.

After a spate of recent brass instrument thefts, Godot Taxis had his house fitted out with bugler alarms. Unfortunately, last week he was the victim of a string playing thief, who took his prized electric guitar and, to add insult to injury, shat in his tuba.

Ishy always wears a tie that's the same colour as his shirt so that he can instantly mingle with anyone no matter what class they happen to be.

Steve Sunshine packs frogspawn into his cheeks, and keeps it there until all the tadpoles have developed into frogs.You don't want to know where he puts them then.

Nogget loves tomatoes.

Booo once had a crazy two week fling in Rome with Fozzie Bear off the Muppets.

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