Bill actually owns a Jaguar motorcar!
Well, I say Jaguar, its actually a 1973 Austin Allegro
But one day he found one of those metal Jaguar logo's and blue tacked it to the front.
Care in the community etc
Make an unfounded claim about the poster above you Page 105
lofthouse lost his marbles in 1976 but regained some of his sanity when he stole someone else's in '85.
Bill Jaguar is unable to count to 21 without taking off his pants.
404 has a third nipple
on certain days, if he twists it in the correct fashion, he can tune into Jazz FM
Twisting nipples? Jazz FM? Kryten in DNA from Red Dwarf I feel.
Lofthouse was once offered to be Johnny Vegas' stunt double, he declined because he just couldn't lose enough weight.
Quote: lofthouse @ July 26 2011, 8:55 PM BST404 has a third nipple
Funny you should say that, I do have a small growth above my right nipple which looks like a third nipple. I'm hoping it's a spot and not a cancerous tumour.
Can you get the shipping forecast on it?
Dogger bank: North becoming variable, 4.
Sweet!
lofthouse is going to be joining 404 Not Found in twiddling his third nipple to see how many radio signals they can get.
Bill Jaguar is actually a Puma. Named Greg.
olijba can't tie his shoes. He once asked a passerby who looked like his mother to do them for him.
Bill Jaguar is set to complete his free transfer to Bolton Wanderers on Wednesday after agreeing a two-year contract with the Premier League club.
The 27-year-old midfielder left Aston Villa at the end of last season and was considering several offers to play abroad.
lofthouse is ranked behind everyone else in the world when it comes to tennis. Although he is a fabulous cricketer.
Bill is the world champion at the three legged race.
However he has an unfair advantage in that he is a freak and was born with three legs
freak
you hear me? I said freak
FREAAAAAK
big ole' freaky bastid