Frankie Rage lost his mind in his bathroom. Now his mind haunts his old shower while his body was taken by the government to run for Prime Minister.
Make an unfounded claim about the poster above you Page 100
Bill Jaguar once found a chopped off finger in a can of Fanta.
Ellie JP kills Gypsy kids for the Tesco Mafia. She strangles the girls and stamps the boys to death. What a cow!
Will Cam once got lost in a Rembrandt painting, to get out he had to destroy said piece of art with a knife.
Bill Jaguar dunnit.
Big Jack can lick his own anus (but only on Tuesdays.
Will Cam can lick Big Jack's anus except on Tuesdays.
Bill Jaguar has you.
eQua bedded a leprachaun, or at least he thought it was a leprachaun, it turned out to be a tiger in a green suit.
Bill Jaguar is very upset as his sunday 'NOTW' is no more, he might have to upgrade to The People.
dellas is responsible for hacking phones, it is only because she gets so angry at not being able to use them, talk about burying the hatchet.
Bill just landed a role in The Archers as a 'noisy sheep'
lofthouse has lost 23 fist fights with elephants, his archaic methods of poaching are the laughing stock of the world.
Bill Jaguar's newly released book '101 obscene phone call ideas' (a collaboration with Terry Venables) has gone striaght in at number one on the Perveted and Twisted best-seller list.
Juan Kerr is jealous because he thought up the book idea first, and added his personal 'peeping Tom' pics.