British Comedy Guide

A New Case

Last of the old Skit comps entries I'm going through. I like this one but was never sure how to end it as you can see. Any feedback (especially AngieBaby!:P) would be most welcome. Thanks :)

EXT. CITY STREET NIGHT.

SFX: POLICE SIRENS.

A CROWD OF PEOPLE STAND AT A TAPED OFF CRIME SCENE. A CAR ROLLS UP WITH LIGHTS FLASHING. A PLAIN CLOTHES DETECTIVE ( DETECTIVE ) STEPS OUT OF THE CAR AND GREETS A UNIFORMED OFFICER (OFFICER).

DETECTIVE:
Officer? What we got here? Another virtually impossible murder case for me and the team at the forensics lab?

OFFICER:
Detective.

THEY PASS UNDER THE POLICE TAPE AND MOVE INTO THE CRIME SCENE.

DETECTIVE:
Not even a body. They leave nothing in this town, God damn it.

OFFICER:
Sorry the body's over there?

HE POINTS TO A DEAD MAN SPRAWLED IN THE ROAD.

DETECTIVE:
Ok we got a body, but no murder weapon, that could be impossible to find.

OFFICER:
And we found a gun right over there.

HE POINTS TO A STILL SMOKING GUN.

DETECTIVE:
So...we got the victim...we got the weapon....but who pulled the trigger? Vanished without a trace I suspect.

OFFICER:
He's right here. He was waiting at the scene.

THEY WALK OVER TO A MAN IN HANDCUFFS.

SUSPECT:
I killed him. With that gun. On purpose.

DETECTIVE:
Trying to cover for someone. Got any witnesses?

CROWD 1:
I saw him do it.

THE CROWD AND SUSPECT NOD AND MURMUR IN AGREEMENT.

CROWD 2:
Me too.

DETECTIVE:
But in this neighbourhood, who's gonna testify?

CROWD 1:
I'll do it. I'll testify.

CROWD 2:
Me too.

DETECTIVE:
Ok, here's what we're going to do. I'm going to close my eyes and count to ten and when I open them I want a case to solve. Jesus, I didn't spend all those years at cop school for this Mickey Mouse bullshit. Now, you guys ready?

THE CROWD AND SUSPECT AND OFFICER NOD AND MURMUR IN AGREEMENT.

DETECTIVE:
Ok. One...two...three...four....five...six...seven...eight...nine...ten.

END.

I like the build up very much. It feels a little let down by the ending though.

Bo.

Same here- I thnk the buildup is great and very funny, just don't like the end.

Well, seeing as asked so nicely ... ;) It's a good idea, strong character, but the end confused me, is he wanting them to commit a new crime so he can solve it using his forensic expertise?

Or does he want the existing murder to be made unsolvable, by removing the killer, gun, witnesses etc?

I like the idea of him closing his eyes to give the killer a chance to run away, dump the gun etc.

Either way I think it needs a little clarification.

Thanks for the feedback. All three of you have spotted the mistake, e.g I didn't know where I was going with this idea. AngieBaby, you raise some good questions and answering them will enable me to finish the sketch. I also like the counting at the end But I need to figure out why. Thanks again all.

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