INT. LADY GORSHAM'S PARLOUR - DAY
LADY GORSHAM (MID 50's) ADDRESSES THE CAMERA. HER FACE IS EXPRESSIONLESS AND REMAINS COMPLETELY EXPRESSIONLESS THROUGHOUT.
LADY GORSHAM
Yes, I make no secret of the fact I regularly use botox therapy. I see nothing wrong in trying to preserve a youthful complexion... although it does have its drawbacks. People sometimes assume I am cold and emotionless when quite the opposite is true - I have many strong, deeply felt emotions... it's just my face has difficulty fully expressing them.
PULL BACK TO REVEAL A YOUNG MAN, ROGER, SITTING NEXT TO LADY GORSHAM.
LADY GORSHAM
Which is why I hired Roger, here.
ROGER GIVES A LITTLE WAVE.
LADY GORSHAM
Roger uses his extensive theatrical training to express the emotions that I struggle with. Happy face, Roger.
ROGER INSTANTLY BREAKS INTO AN EXAGGERATED GRIN.
ROGER CONTINUES TO GRIN.
LADY GORSHAM
That's enough now, dear. We're not mental.
CUT TO -
EXT. GARDEN PARTY - DAY
LADY GORSHAM SIPS A FLUTE OF CHAMPAGNE. ROGER STANDS CLOSE BY.
LADY GORSHAM (V.O.)
Yes, Roger has been a real boon in those situations where words just aren't enough.
LADY GORSHAM GREETS AN OLD FRIEND.
LADY GORSHAM
Oh, how nice to see you. What a lovely surprise.
ROGER MAKES A SURPRISED FACE
LADY GORSHAM
I was so sorry to hear about your husband. Such a dreadful business.
ROGER MAKES A SAD FACE, RUBS HIS EYES IN A PRETEND CRYING ACTION.
CUT TO -
EXT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT
A MAN (50's) IS WHISPERING INTO LADY GORSHAM'S EAR. HE LEANS PAST ROGER WHO SITS BETWEEN THEM AWKWARDLY.
LADY GORSHAM (V.O.)
I take Roger with me everywhere. You just never know when a suitable facial expression may be required.
SOMETHING THE MAN SAYS CAUSES LADY GORSHAM TO RECOIL.
LADY GORSHAM
No, I will not do that. Shock, Roger.
ROGER IS SLURPING SOME WINE.
LADY GORSHAM
Roger!
ROGER MAKES A MOCK SHOCKED FACE.
LADY GORSHAM
And quite frankly I'm furious you would think I'm that kind of woman.
ROGER MAKES A COQUETTISH FACE - DOE EYES, PURSED LIPS AND A FINGER TO HIS MOUTH.
LADY GORSHAM
NO, anger, Roger! Genuine anger!
ROGER MAKES AN EXAGGERATED ANGRY FACE
LADY GORSHAM
But not so ugly, Roger, for goodness sake.
ROGER GLARES AT LADY GORSHAM. HE LOOKS FED UP.
LADY GORSHAM
I suppose that'll have to do,
CUT TO -
INT. HALL - DAY
LADY GORSHAM AND ROGER STAND AT A PODIUM. THERE IS APPLAUSE FROM A GATHERED AUDIENCE.
LADY GORSHAM (V.O.)
Roger does struggle sometimes which had led to some embarrassment.
LADY GORSHAM ADDRESSES THE AUDIENCE.
LADY GORSHAM
When I was asked to become patron of this fine charity I was filled with joy...
ROGER LOOKS JOYFUL
LADY GORSHAM
...anticipation,...
ROGER MAKES AN EAGER FACE
LADY GORSHAM
..and maybe just a little bit of trepidation...
ROGER MAKES A FEARFUL FACE.
LADY GORSHAM
...all at the same time.
ROGER SHRUGS. HE STRUGGLES TO MAKE AN APPROXIMATION OF SIMULTANEOUS JOY, ANTICIPATION AND FEAR. IT LOOKS ODD.
THE GATHERED AUDIENCE ARE BEMUSED.
LADY GORSHAM LOOKS AT ROGER, SHAKES HER HEAD. ROGER SHRUGS.
CUT TO -
INT. LADY GORSHAM'S PARLOUR - DAY
LADY GORSHAM ADDRESSES THE CAMERA ONCE MORE.
LADY GORSHAM
It's worked out reasonably well, all things considered.
LADY GORSHAM LOOKS AT ROGER BEFORE LEANING A LITTLE TOWARDS THE CAMERA.
LADY GORSHAM
Of course, ideally, I'd have preferred a woman...
ROGER LOOKS A LITTLE PUT OUT.
LADY GORSHAM
But you make do, don't you.
ROGER LOOKS AT LADY GORSHAM WITH UNBRIDLED HATRED.
LADY GORSHAM GLANCES AT ROGER.
LADY GORSHAM
I don't know what that hideous face is meant to be but I certainly didn't ask for it. Now, sweet smile.
ROGER SNEERS.
END
