THE VILLAGE NUMBER 6 IS WANDERING DOWN THE MAIN SQUARE.
GREETING THE VILLAGERS.
6
Being see you 4
4
Ah number 6 ready for our giant game of chess later?
6
Delightful.
HE PASSESS 456,789, 688, 345 A FAMILY OF SUN BURDENED CHAVS DRINKING STELLA
THEY HAVE A BIG PITBULL THE NUMBER 1110 HANGS ON IT'S COLLAR
6
Aah you're new here. Be seeing you.
456(A MOUTHY FAT BIRD)
Wadja want you fackin' paedo.
789(A FAT KID OF INDETERMINATE GENDER EATING SOME FOWL BERNARD MATHEWS PRODUCT)
Err does he want to fruit me up? He's wearing a blazer the nonce.
6
Erm erm . Aren't you spys? or scientists? I thought we were all supposed to be here to keep our secrets? Have you got any secrets?
456
Secrets? He is a nonce! Get him 345 and 1110!
345 (A BIG BALD HEADED THUG AND 1110 DESCEND UPON 6)
SCENE2
6 STAGGERS OFF TO THE VILLAGE HALL *(HE'S BEEN THOROUGHLY BEATEN)
THE CHESS BOARD IS COVERED IN CHAVS, ONE OF THE ROVERS IS BEING DEFLATED BY A BUNCH OF CHAVVY KIDS
6 STAGGERS IN AND SEES NUMBER 2
6
Aah number 2. Is this some ingenious new ploy to make me reveal my secrets?
2
No can you pack your bags you're out of here.
6
I see. Off to the incredible recreation of my London flat?
2
No Kevin...
6
You can't use my name!
2
Look just piss off, no one cares what you know. You've been living here on benefits for 2 bloody years. There's an economic crisis on and the Village is being let to Butlins.
6
But what am my home?
2
Well you can't go back there.
WE CUT TO A VIDEO SCREEN CHAVS HAVE SURROUNDED HIS HOUSE WAVING SIGNS READING
"Piss off 6 offender." "Be seeing you dead paedo!"