It is with sad news today that we report the double tragedy of the deaths of both David Cameron and deputy leader of the coalition government Nick Clegg.
Samantha Cameron widoewed wife of David said how he'd climbed on the roof of Number 10 to try and adjust the TV aerial. Before plummeting to his doom.
It was a week later that the alarm was raised over the disapearance of deputy lead Clegg. His disapearance being noticed when Downing Street ran low on milk, toilet paper and coffee stirers. He was found by Esmerelda Villa Lopez an agency cleaner folded up in a storage cupboard behind a Henry vacum cleaner.
George Osbourne chancellor of the exchequer commented,
"We all knew he was just a puppet but he will still be missed."
Scotland's greatest comic and national treasure Billy Conolly in a tearful statement said.
"I may have threatened to break his neck when he pecked me, but I didn't want to see him dead.
We tried to contact acting Labor leader Jaqui Smith for comment, but when ever our journalist rang her door bell. She would repeatedly shout
"There's somebody at the door!"