1501 Canterbury Cathedral
The candle light illuminates the dark gloom, It dances merrily on the stone walls. A lone pilgrim prays before the tomb of Thomas Becket. The soft sound of Monks chanting is the only noise.
A shadowy figure emerges out of the darkness and approaches the pilgrim.
Figure : All right squire?
Pilgrim ( Somewhat shocked ) : Ummm yes, thank you kindly.
Figure : First time here is it?
Pilgrim : Yes, I was at Our Lady of Walsingham last week.
Figure : Ohhh. I'm sorry about that, rough place that. Canterbury is far more civilised, I always do more far more business here
Pilgrim : Business?
Figure : Since you asked Squire! ( Pulls aside cape to revel a range of items) Religious artefacts.
Pilgrim : Oh no, no, I'm a ( Makes to stand up )
Figure : Collector. Yes I can see that! How about this? A thorn from the crown that was on our Lord's head.
Pilgrim : Oh no, I won't
Figure : You already have one? What about this then, the hand of the penitent thief .
Pulls out a mummified hand nailed to a piece of wood.
Figure : You can't have one of these, I know for a fact that there are only three of these in England at the moment.
Pilgrim : I really shouldn't.
Figure : The toe nail of John The Baptist?
Pilgrim : That could be from anyone, a lesser saint, a roman even.
Figure : How about this? ( Pulls out a skelton of a fish ) One of the very fish that Christ fed the five thousand with.
Pilgrim : Looks like a chub man. I think you think I'm a bloody fool!
Figure : I do not squire. I treat all my client with equal contempt. Listen, you can't come here and go back with nothing.
Pilgrim : There's nothing that you can tempt me with.
Figure : One of doubting Thomas' sandals? ( Shake of head) Two silver coins from the estate of Judas Iscariot? ( Shake of Head ) The scales that fell from the eyes of St Paul on the road to Damascus?
Scene Two
The Pilgrim is leaving the Cathedral. He is wearing a T-shirt. " I went to the Tomb of St Thomas Becket and all I got was this lousy T-Shirt"
Figure : That was woven by St Peter himself you know.
Ends.
