Most embarrassing sex you have ever had Page 2

Quote: Nogget @ August 18 2010, 10:15 AM BST

I often wonder if Hugh Hefner yearns to do conventional old-bloke stuff like tending his allotment, instead of going through whatever pains he must endure trying to cope with a bevy of girls young enough to be his great, great, great...well, they've probably evolved into a whole new species they're so far removed from him.

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I reckon Hugh subcontracts his sex out.

And some of those Playgirls are a different species. Some are just giant breasts, juming around the mansion like spacehoppers.

Wait... they make spacehoppers with breasts now? *internets*

Quote: john lucas 101 @ August 18 2010, 10:03 AM BST

Is there any that isn't embarrassing? From what I can remember. I very much doubt I could manage it now. I mean, it's a lot of hassle, isn't it?

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Expensive too. And the girls never look like they do on the cards in the phonebooth.

I've had loads but this was recently.

To preamble the story a bit, I've never been comfortable with condoms. Wearing them but especially putting them on. Obviously you have to but I'm still all fingers and thumbs...and erect penis.

Anyhoo, it came to pass that myself and my current partner had been on 5 dates and it was time to consumate the relationship. That's a shag to you Charley . So after entering the bed she asks whether I have a condom. Being a modern man of course I haven't so she obligingly gets one from the bathroom. By now the lights are out so it's pretty dark and I fumble around with this bloody thing until I think I've got it on.

So by now the absolute passion has gone out of this situation but we soldier on but the goddamn thing keeps on coming off and eventually gets lost somewhere in the bed. Or so we think. Either way just we got on with it and a nice time was eventually had.

The following day she's gone to work and is stood chatting to her boss when she is aware something has landed on her shoe. Yes ladies and gentlemen, it's the rogue condom! Now I wonder where that had been hiding?

Epic.

This poor lady would turn in her grave at such a smutty thread.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/1673170.stm

Apparently Peter Kay shagged her corpse.

Quote: Will Cam @ August 18 2010, 2:00 PM BST

This poor lady would turn in her grave at such a smutty thread.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/1673170.stm

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Yeah. Or she'd have joined in under an alias. The dirty cow.

Quote: zooo @ August 18 2010, 2:06 PM BST

Apparently Peter Kay shagged her corpse.

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She scrubbed up quite well apparently

Quote: Will Cam @ August 18 2010, 2:22 PM BST

She scrubbed up quite well apparently

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Have you considered working for Doctor Who, Will? I'd like that as a monster.

I wouldn't want to show them up John.

I think you should send that the next time they have a 'Design a Doctor Who Monster' on Blue Peter.

Just for you John

*Hides behind sofa*

Did anyone really hide behind their sofa whilst watching Doctor Who?