British Comedy Guide

Experiment

INT. SCIENCE LAB. DAY.

A SCIENTIST (CARTER) IS STANDING BEFORE SOME EQUIPMENT. (A FUNNEL ATTACHED TO A BOX WITH IS JOINED TO ANOTHER BOX VIA SOME TUBING).

ANOTHER SCIENTIST (WATSON) ENTERS THE LAB.

WATSON:
This had better be important.

CARTER:
Watson, trust me. This is a day you won't forget. Now. What do I have here?

WATSON:
Unless I'm much mistaken; some chocolate, some biscuit and...

WATSON DABS SOME SUBSTANCE ON HIS FINGERTIP AND TASTES IT.

WATSON (CONT'D ):
...well, that tastes of orange.

CARTER:
You are not mistaken. Now watch this.

CARTER POURS THE STUF INTO THE BOX VIA THE FUNNEL AND PRESSES A BUTTON.

FX: ELECTRICAL AND MECHANICAL NOISES.

CARTER OPENS THE SECOND BOX AND PRODUCES A LARGE WOODEN CLUB.

CARTER:
What do you make of that?

CARTER:
Now. Watch this.

HE PUTS A NEW SET OF INGREDIENTS INTO THE FUNNEL.

CARTER (CONT'D):
Chocolate, again...peanuts...nougat...caramel...biscuit, again...and...finally...some puffed rice. Hit the button would you?

WATSON PRESSES THE BUTTON.

FX: ELECTRICAL AND MECHANICAL NOISES.

CARTER OPENS THE SECOND BOX AND PRODUCES A TARTAN BLANKET, SOME SANDWICHES, SOME CARTONS OF JUICE DRINK AND PLASTIC CUPS AND CUTLERY AND SOME PAPER PLATES.

WATSON:
My god. It looks like a picnic.

CARTER:
It is a picnic.

WATSON:
Never in my...I mean you...

CARTER:
One more; just so you know I'm not going mad.

CARTER INTRODUCES A NEW SET OF INGREDIENTS TO THE EQUIPMENT.

CARTER ( CONT'D):
Simpler this time. Look, just chocolate and biscuit.

WATSON:
Surely that's not enough.

CARTER:
Just watch.

HE PUSHES THE BUTTON.

FX: ELECTRICAL AND MECHANICAL NOISES.

CARTER:
You do it.

WATSON GOES TO THE SECOND BOX, OPENS IT AND LOOKS INSIDE.

WATSON:
Carter, I don't believe it.

HE PULLS A PENGUIN FROM THE BOX AND PLACES IT ON THE BENCH.

CARTER:
Isn't it remarkable?

END.

Didn't find this one funny, scratchers. The reveals weren't that strong or surprising for me.

Cheers for the straight talk, Ben. Good to know. Anything to salvage or leave it and move on?

I'd leave it and move on, but I'm incredibly callous.

I thought it wasn't too bad, actually. (Bit weird, but hey.)

I just think you should have the penguin jump out of his hands and run off so that people know it's a creature and not a chocolate bar.

Then you could have Carter say: "Quick - p.p.p.pick it up!"

Maybe because it's a physical sketch, but the jokes are about words.

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