Monologue

Hey guys. This all sort of came to me when I was out in the town, minding my own business, yesterday. Don't ask me what any of it means.

I suppose it is sort of stand-up(ish) material. Never written anything like it before so I'd appreciate your thoughts.

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Bluray is great isn't it? Two hundred quid, that's what I paid for a Bluray player. But it is worth for the picture alone. It's about ten times sharper than a normal DVD isn't it? I watched Gerard Butler's Law Abiding Citizen on it. And because the picture was so clear I could see that this movie, with Gerard Butler in it, was totally shit. I thought that was weird cos I watched on my old DVD and thought it was only terrible. SO you see Bluray is worth it isn't it?

And 'cause I got Bluray, and I was alone, I tested out, for a mate, one of his adult movies. Firstly, I don't why he called it an adult film 'cause there were no adults in it. Admittedly, there were little people. Anyway, I was lonely, I was alone, and separated from my little wife, so pornography is fine isn't it? And 'cause I had Bluray I could pause the adult movie at certain 'bits' and get amazingly clear images of... it. So clear, and sharp, you could see every individual... person in it

Now, I know what your thinking. Your thinking, "for £200 you could have hired a prostitute and had sex rather than limp through the streets of Soho looking for a dealer who did a deal on Bluray player and an adult movie package!" I wouldn't do that. I can't do that. But I did try that and she was a minger. And the Bluray was on offer!

jay

As far as writing standup material, it's a bit difficult to judge. Based on seeing it written down, I'd say it doesn't have enough laugh lines (you want to aim for 1 in 3 for anecdotes IMO). However, if it's to be performed as standup, you'll get a lot more humour out of the delivery. A better way to do it, is to film yourself doing the routine- then you can take into account the delivery aswell.

As it stands, I'd take out about 30%. Good start though.

thanks. I think a lot of the humour would be in the delivery. Esp in a few well chosen pauses, which as u say are difficult to see when written down... Like I said, just popd into my head really.

You should have a go sitting in front of your webcam, and then watch it back with a notebook. Everytime you think there is a funny line, tick, and every line which is a direct setup to the funny line, smily face, and every line which is neither, edit the hell out !

I'm about to do that with my standup.