JEN AND TIM ARE TALKING IN THE LOUNGE OF JEN'S FLAT.
JEN
So how was umm work Tim.
TIM
Er we installed the new internet system and we only had to take the mainframe off for half an hour. But those dweebs in acounting still complained...
I'm boring you aren't I?
JEN
Oh no, no...I mean yes. Was Katie helping out? You know her with the funky Wonderwoman lunch box and the red 50s glasses
TIM
Yes she's such a star with Wndex 2300 and so whacky. I'm sorry, but Jen you never relax, maybe if you ever like had a glass of wine? Or we had sex? Maybe you should talk to Katie?
JEN
I can't Tim, it's my cloacca.
TIM
It's allergic to alcohol?
JEN
No it's a complex integrated organ. I use to eat, excrete and procreate, if I ever drank.. well mixing up those functions would be horrid. Food poisoning would be the least of it. I need my focus.
TIM
You know what I'm tired. Yawn. I'm going home.
JEN
Don't go. It's raining, why not stay the night.
TIM
Your sofa is so hard. Besides I've got to prepare for that conference with Katie.
JEN
No but the bed is soft.
TIM
Really... gosh erm, I've always wandered what a cloacca was like. Even what one looked like. Great Cthulu ahoy.
TIM RUSHES OUT OF THE ROOM.
JEN STANDS UP , SHE WOBBLES EVER SO SLIGHTLY.
A SMALL EMPTY BOTTLE OF VODKA DROPS BETWEEN HER LEGS IT IS COVERED IN SLIME
SHE STAGGERS OUT OF THE ROOM
WE CAN SEE IN THE WASTE PAPER BIN IS A SNAZZY PAIR OF RED GLASSES ALSO COVERED IN SLIME
When did I stop writing comedy and start writing urban nightmares?