British Comedy Guide

Blue Jihad returns.

MUQTADA JOHN LESLIE (MQJL), OSAMA BIN JOHN NOKES (OBJN) AND VALERIE SNGLETON.(VS)
ARE SITTING ON A SOFA WITH SHEP

GRAMS
The Blue Peter Theme.
MQJL
I'm Muqtada Bin John Leslie and I didn't rape anyone! Hello and welcome to Blue Jihad!

VS
Unless you're watching this in the UK. I'm Valerie Singleton!

MQJL
Your time will come infidels.

OBJN
And I'm Osama Bin John Nokes! Get down Shep you filthy beast.

OBJN SHOOTS SHEP.

VS
And later I'll be cooking up something surprising in the kitchen.

OBJN
Yes that uranium should be pretty surprising for the UN weapons inspectors.

MQJL
And I'll be in the sunken garden. Burning all the filthy bushes.

OBJN
They sound too much like unclean pubic hairs.

MQJL
But first of all with mother's days coming up soon. What will you be giving your mother this sunday?

OBJN
Stand up Valerie you can be mum.

VALERIE STANDS UP

VS
Ooh am I getting chocolate?

OBJN
No we're traditional.

VS
Is it roses?

OBJN
No we're traditonal.

VS
What's a traditional Iranian mother's day present?

OBJN+MQJL
Stoning!

OBJN+MQJL PELT VS WITH STONES WHO RUNS OFF.

Not bad. Might be worth a punt at Viz.

You could maybe add some extra Blue Peter related gags:

A robot elephant appears in the studio and shits out I.E.D.'s.

Blue Jihad's bring and buy sale.

Simon Groom making a suicide bomber's belt using the inside of a toilet roll and uttering 'here's one I made earlier'

more aiming for news revue

i think I may have used suicide belt in an earlier version

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