A SHIP IN HIGH SEAS ABOUT TO SINK CAPTAIN AND FIRST MATE STAND IN FRONT OF A BIG BOX
CAPTAIN
Yar these seas be from the very crack of Satan's arse, release the emergency beacon.
FIRST MATE OPENS BOX AND PUSHES OUT JOEY DEACON IN A WHEEL CHAIR, JOEY CHUCKS HIS SHOE INTO THE BRINY DEPTHS
FIRST MATE
Beacon away and join your lost shoe.
HE SHOVES JOEY DEACON OVER THE SIDE
CAPTAIN
Yar that beacon be less use than Jordan's under crackers.
SCENE2
THE BLUE PETER STUDIO VALERIE SINGLETON IS PATRONISING A HUGE DISTRESS BEACON.
VALERIE
And Ernie wrote down everything you said? And that's how you wrote your book?
What a brave and inspiring spaz.... John Leslie stop that!
JOHN LESLIE IS DRY HUMPING THE BEACON WITH HIS TROUSERS DOWN
JOHN LESLIE
I'm going to not rape you like I didn't Ulrika Johnson. Ugghh say that dirty word again you quadraplegic slut.
BEACON
Beep Beep.
SCENE3
SOOTYJ IS IN A HUGE WAREHOUSE ALA INDIANA JONES SWOPPING LABELS READING "Deacon" FOR "Beacon"
