MADAME PARKLANE (MP) IS BEING INTERROGATED BY INSPECTOR TP (ITP)IN HER FRONT ROOM
MP
Inspector I'm just a simple astrologer with a following of millions on the TV.
ITP
A following that used to be in the 10s of millions. Dirk Ruthless the TV exec was going to cancel your show, but then he died in that mysterious explosion.
MP
It was tragic,
ITP
An explosion which according to the lab contained trace of Tarrot card varnish!
MP
I've got nothing to say to you.
ITP
How about to Newyork's second greatest bottom reader.
MP
Oh no not Kabumbo!
ENTER KATE MULGREW (KM)(SHE HAS A HUGE BULGING HANDBAG)
KM
Oh don't worry Mrs Parklane. I'm just a simple housewife, I write a little column for the local paper.
MP
That's a relief. So you won't be poking around my backside.
KM
Oh no, that's my wacky husband and his darn dogs hobby.
MP
Phew, hey what are you doing!
KM HAS HER FACE STUCK UP THE FRONT OF KM'S SKIRT.
KM
I read front bums. Now spread those lying lips.
KM KICKS OVER HER HANDBAG SPREADING PEANUTS, STICKY BUNS AND ELEPHANT SIZED CONDOMS.
ITP
Peanuts, sticky buns, elephant sized condoms! You whore.
KM PULLS HER HEAD OUT FROM MP'S SKIRT
KM
Beam me up Chakotay.
KM BEAMS UP
CAJUMBO BURSTS THROUGH THE WALL.
ITP
She's gone Cajumbo. How could you? Kabumbo took your Barmitzvah.
MP
Well my horoscope predicted a tall dark stranger with big ears would pay me a call.
ITP
A trunk call!
THEY ALL LAUGH
VO
Cajumbo returns next week in an elephant never forgets, justice!