Hymen

ANNE MILTON IS ANSWERING HER PHONE.

ANNE MILTON
Anne Milton the minister for calling a spade a spade and an obese person a fat bastard.

GEORGE OSBOURNE WALKS IN

ANNE MILTON HANGS UP

ANNE MILTON
You fat bastard!

GEORGE OSBOURNE
I beg your pardon! I'm George Osbourne the slender, caddish chancellor. I make gays and women masturbate whilst I swiftly slash the rates.

ANNE MILTON
Sorry I like to call everyone a fast bastard just in case they're a fat f**king bloater holding their breath. I hate fat people.

GEORGE OSBOURNE
Good. No it's all these hymen replacement operations, we can't waste money stiching up Muslims. That's the police and Mi5'S job.

ANNE MILTON
No George it's not the Muslims who are paying for hymen replacements.

GEORGE OSBOURNE.
Then who?

DAVID CAMERON WALKS ON

DAVID CAMERON
It's me. Conservative futures it's all about refreshing the same old c**ts who've been f**king you for years. Here's your's George.

DAVID PUTS A PIN SWIMMING CAP ON GEORGE'S HEAD.

ANNE MILTON
You fat evil bastard.

DAVID CAMERON
I'm not fat!

Very good apart from the ending.

I got lost with the swimming cap.

First part excellent, with some great gags.

Supposed to be what putting a hymen on a hearltess, incompetent, saturine shit bag of a chancellor would look like.

Thanks for the enlightenment. I'm going to buy my Mrs a hymen hat so she can use it in the local swimming pool.