This is a sketch from some comedy show I'm thinking of putting together. "Unlikely housemates" or something like that. It's the first draft so please disect it with sharp tweezers.
A LOLLIPOP MAN IS STANDING AT A CROSSING. A SMALL CHILD COMES UP TO HIM.
Child: My mum says you only got your job cos nobody else wants it.
Lollipop Man: What do you know young snotty? I love my job.
Child: She says you only got your job cos they're cutting down on all these long words. Words like "School crossing patrollers." They saved twenty...
Lollipop: (Interrupting) Twenty?
Child: Twenty five pounds.
Lollipop: Twenty pounds? Do you think I stand out here for twenty five pounds a year?
Child: Yeah.
Lollipop: Do you think I have to wear this ridiculous piss coloured jacket and wave a big stick about for twenty five pounds a year? Do you think I subscribe to the Lollipop guild, attend numerous, vigorous training sessions on correct 'pop positioning, road safety and neuro-linguistic programming sessions, for twenty five pounds a year? Do you think I could honestly live on twenty five pounds a year?
Child: That's a year's worth of Beanos!
Lollipop: Are you out of your miniature skull?
Child: You suck!
THE CHILD CROSSES.
Lollipop: Go play in the traffic!
THE CHILD STICKS UP HIS MIDDLE FINGER.
Twenty five pounds? I wonder if you can still get a Menace Bedspread?