The Holy Grail

INT. THE GRAIL CASTLE. DAY.

SIR PERCEVAL IS KNEELING BEFORE THE THRONE OF THE FISHER KING.

PERCEVAL
These many years I have sought the Grail, through perilous forest and trackless wilderness, enduring great hardships, seldom sleeping twice under the same roof, if any roof at all.

KING
Yes, we are a bit off the beaten track.

PERCEVAL
In many a strange adventure I have braved untold perils, continually assailed by fearsome adversaries.

KING
We don't seem to get a lot of visitors. Do you think perhaps if were to put up some signs...?

PERCEVAL
And in all that time I have I kept myself pure.

KING
You mean no...

THE KING HOLDS HIS LEFT THUMB AGAINST HIS LEFT INDEX FINGER AND POKES HIS RIGHT INDEX FINGER IN AND OUT BETWEEN THEM.

PERCEVAL
Often the Enemy of Man has sent damsels of the most alluring beauty to seduce me with their wiles; but always I have resisted.

KING
Well I do hope you will think it has been worth it.

PERCEVAL
My whole life has been dedicated to the quest of the Grail.

KING
So I suppose you want to see it now.

PERCEVAL
With all my heart.

THE KING TURNS TO CALL FOR THE GRAIL, THEN TURNS BACK TO PERCIVAL.

KING
I'm just a bit worried it might not come up to expectations.

PERCEVAL
Once I have looked upon the Grail I may die happy.

THE KING TURNS TO CALL FOR THE GRAIL, THEN TURNS BACK TO PERCIVAL AGAIN.

KING
You're sure you won't be disappointed?

PERCEVAL
Please, I must see it!

THE KING TURNS TO CALL FOR THE GRAIL, THEN TURNS BACK TO PERCIVAL AGAIN.

KING
Only, I wouldn't want it to be a let down.

PERCEVAL LOOKS PLEADINGLY AT HIM.

KING
Very well... Bring forth the Grail.

PERCEVAL
I can hardly believe it! The vessel from which Our Lord drank at the Last Supper.

KING
Of course we don't have provenance.

THERE IS ETHEREAL MUSIC AND A DAMSEL ENTERS CARRYING A CUSHION ON WHICH IS PLACED AN EARTHENWARE PINCH POT, SUCH AS A CHILD MIGHT MAKE AT SCHOOL IN FIRST YEAR POTTERY.

KING
Behold the Grail!

PERCEVAL STARES IT.

KING
You're not disappointed?

PERCEVAL
No, it's really...good.

KING
Personally I think it's a bit overrated.

PERCEVAL
No, no. I'm thrilled. My life is now complete. Yes, it's all been well worthwhile.

KING
That's all right then.

PERCEVAL
I suppose I should be going now.

KING
Well, it's been nice having you.

PERCEVAL
I don't suppose you know where there's...?

KING
A brothel? Out of the castle gates, third on the left.

END.

I thoroughly enjoyed it. At first I thought it was going on a bit, but once you get into it the length is perfect. I would love to see that on screen.

Yes Timbo very nice. Percival's dialogue is a joy to read. Nicely paced and most enjoyable.

Cheers guys; appreciated.

Very nice.
Made me laugh, I could see it working well.

Reminded me of:

"And you're ready to give it to us?" urged Loonsuawl.
"I am."
"Now?"
"Now," said Deep Thought.
They both licked their dry lips.
"Though I don't think," added Deep Thought, "that you're going to like it."
"Doesn't matter!" said Phouchg. "We must know it! Now!"
"Now?" inquired Deep Thought.
"Yes! Now..."
"All right," said the computer, and settled into silence again. The two men fidgeted. The tension was unbearable.
"You're really not going to like it," observed Deep Thought.
"Tell us!"
"All right," said Deep Thought. "The Answer to the Great Question..."
"Yes..!"
"Of Life, the Universe and Everything..." said Deep Thought.
"Yes...!"
"Is..." said Deep Thought, and paused.
"Yes...!"
"Is..."
"Yes...!!!...?"
"Forty-two," said Deep Thought, with infinite majesty and calm.
"Yes I know," said Mr Cheeky, "out the door, one cross each, line on the left."

Hmm, now you mention it, I suppose there is a resemblance.

Only in a good way.

Very good writing and some nice chuckles.

I'm parroting everyone else but I liked it. Don't think anything needs changing.

Good sketch. Some of the King's lines could do with a trim though his politeness works well. Also the build up could do with reworking. But the general theme, jokes ideas, works nicely.