Interesting my lead ins are quite weak.
i may write it as a more experiential standup style gag
Stand-up comedy help: Constructing your first 5 Page 10
That's what I'd go with.
Quote: Jason Bumford @ October 28 2010, 8:08 PM BSTAny ideas for an opening line? What would happen if I shouted, in that lame way that everyone seems to do,.. "give me a cheer if you like crocodiles?" Thoughtless cheers? Silence?
Just keep it snappy. 
Quote: Nat Wicks @ October 28 2010, 8:20 PM BSTDepends on the gong show. Most you will just get silence.
Are you sure you want your first gig to be a gong? That's very brave.
Brave...but is it useful? I try and learn something new at each gig and I just wonder what you learn at a gong. If it's local then why not, but you may be better of spending time finding a "Proper" gig where you see what works and what doesn't in the context that you hope to operate in going forward.
Quote: Mr Lewis @ October 29 2010, 3:20 PM BSTBrave...but is it useful?
Is Mr Lewis your stand up name? I've an image of a workman in a brown coat with a moustache. Is that right?
It's like Stand Up Guess Who! No, flip down all your workmen with tashes!