"Tajikistan President's daughter"
Intro: "It's not unusual for a child looking for work experience to ask their parent to pull a few strings, but in a bizarre twist on "Take your daughter to work day" the President of Tajikistan has secured a summer placement for his teenage daughter as the news anchor on state run television - where presumably she delivered the news by text and was, like, oh my god, totally awesome.
President: Well, Zarina, my princess. How was your first day at the TV station?
Daughter: Papa, it went very well. The news was very good.
President: Yes, I know. I wrote it.
Daughter: Oh. I thought that is what they did in "make up". For top story, I reported triumphant victory of glorious Tajikistan football team in World Cup.
President: Ah yes, when we defeated North Korea in the Final. [scoffing] I would like to see if North Koreans report news so!
Daughter: I also reported our continuing excellent progress in recovering economy, after botched mismanagement of previous dictatorship.
President: Yes - under previous regime unemployment was a problem for many, many families. And now, I look at my family and every one has achieved employment, mostly as high ranking officials. But people would not believe the appalling condition of economy when I took over presidency, 20 years ago. This is why I set up Independent Budget Commission to prove so.
Daughter: Yes, father. The Commissioner has nearly finished his report - but mother says first he must eat up his dinner and be tidying up bedroom.
President: [Teasing] And is it true what your little brother Yurgi has told me that you have a crush on other newsreader?
Daughter [shy and giggling]: Oh papa. Yurgi is always such a tell tale.
President: Da. That is why he is Head of Noble Secret Police - your diary has been confiscated and newsreader is now arrested. Do you know where your brother is now?
Daughter: Yes. He is helping little Sasha - they are playing with Sasha's train set.
President: Ah yes - and the nation will rejoice when he makes trains run on time. Is your sister at home also? I would like to know if she has yet tried the outfit I gave to her?
Daughter: Which outfit is that?
President: Party of the Opposition - I sent them to her at Department of Justice for her to provide fair trial as Head of Supreme Court.
So you like the new job at TV station. But you look a little sad?
Daughter: This week is very sad for Tajikistan Broadcasting Corporation. Number one talk show host Jonatan Rosski has defected to the other side. We have no one to replace his off wall manner and comic stylings, which have made him treasure to the nation.
President: That is not to worry, Zarina. Next week Yurgi starts new show "Friday Night with the Yurgi" - I am sure he will be able to make people talk.
Daughter: Da. And in his files he already has Andrew Sachs' phone number.