Hello folks
I had this idea for a silly sketch featuring Lynne Truss of Eats, Shoots and Leaves fame, but as it developed I thought it would work better as a Viz-style cartoon rather than a sketch.
Anyway, I can't draw. So I've ended up writing it out below as descriptions for a Viz cartoon.
I'd appreciate any comments - e.g. do you think it's good/bad/shit? Also, if you don't think it's shit, would anyone want to draw it and submit to Viz? Or do you know if they just take "scripts" like this?
Thanks!
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THE ADVENTURE'S OF LYNNE TRUSS
Frame 1:
CAPTION:
Po-faced grammar nazi Lynne Truss is taking her nephew out to a local fundraiser.
LYNNE AND YOUNG NEPHEW MATT ARE LOOKING AT A SIGN SAYING "GREENGROCER'S FUN DAY"
LYNNE:
That's a good start, Matt!
Frame 2:
THE PAIR APPROACH A TENT. SIGN OUTSIDE SAYS "COCOA NUT SHY"
LYNNE:
Oh dear, this will never do!
LYNNE IS DRAGGING MATT INSIDE.
Frame 3:
INSIDE, REVEAL CHILDREN THROWING AND MISSING TRYING TO KNOCK TINY NUTS OFF PLINTHS. A LARGE TIN OF COCOA POWDER SITS NEARBY.
STALLHOLDER:
These cocoa-flavoured nuts are so small and hard to hit aren't they kids?
LYNNE SLAPS HER FOREHEAD.
Frame 4:
THE PAIR APPROACH ANOTHER TENT. SIGN SAYS "TOM BOWLER"
LYNNE:
I don't believe it! Come on Matt, we need to sort these people out!
Frame 5:
INSIDE, REVEAL A MAN PLAYING BOWLS ON AN INDOOR MAT.
BYSTANDER:
Good wood there, Tom!
REACTION SHOT OF A BAMBOOZLED LYNNE.
Frame 6:
OUTSIDE ANOTHER TENT. THIS TIME THE SIGN SAYS "CHILDREN'S FAECES PAINTED". A SIGNMAKER STANDS NEARBY.
LYNNE:
That's outrageous!
SIGNMAKER:
Don't worry - the sign's spelt wrong. I'm just about to change it!
Frame 7:
LYNNE AND MATT ENTER THE TENT (WALKING AWAY FROM US).
LYNNE:
That's okay then - sounds like fun eh, Matt?
IN FOREGROUND THE SIGNMAKER IS REPLACING THE "P" OF "PAINTED" WITH AN "S" TO MAKE IT "SAINTED"
Frame 8:
A CHILD IS CROUCHED STANDING ON A TRESTLE TABLE HAVING LAID A FRESH CURLY TURD. BEHIND HIM POPE BENEDICT IS ANOINTING THE TURD. AN EXCITED AND BEAMING MATT JOINS THE QUEUE OF CHILDREN TO BE NEXT. LYNNE TRUSS FAINTS.
END
