PETER FALK AND SGT TP ARE INTERVIEWING ROXY FOXY IN HER LOUNGE WHILST HER PORTO RICAN MAID (WHO HAS A VERY LARGE BOTTOM) DUSTS SHOWING OFF HER LARGE BOTTOM.
SGT TP
Ms Roxy Dirk Cameron was poisoned, poisoned by a rare Black Orchid. Found only in the Amazon., the Amazon and your garden.
ROXY
Call me Foxy ever one does. By would I have my costar slain?
SGT TP
Perhaps this script we found in your compost bin.
PETER FALK IS NOW FIXEDLY STARING AT THE BOTTOM AND DROOLING
ROXY
But what? How did you find the script.
PETER FALK (DOING A VERY BAD BIT OF VENTRILOQUISM)
I did it I'm a very naughty ass.
SGT TP
Erm right loo-tenant. You shouldn't have fired Chavez the gardener.
PETER FALK
But you're gonna have to slap me around before I confess...(IN HIS OWN VOICE) well if you insist.
ROXY
Who the hell is this guy? What is this bring a sex offender to work day?
SGT TP
You leave Loo-tenant Kabumbo. He's the greatest ass reader in the NYPD, if he was Stephen Hawlin's he'd be an Ass-trophysist.
PETER FALK
You're some cheek you asshole.
PETER FALK STARTS TO CHASE THE MAID AROUND THE ROOM GRABBING AT HER ASS.
PETER FALK (DOING BAD VENTRILOQUISM)
I was the butt of all the jokes, I was all getting bum-ped, all my plans he Wrecked them.
THE MAID FALLS OVER
MAID
Aye aye heelp get this chupacabra away from me he is loco!
ROXY
Ok I confess. I killed Dirk with a flower, he was going to hav eme written out. He was..
SGT TP
Sorry to waste your time Ms Roxy. But we needed a decoy whilst Lt Kabumbo worked that asshole over.
WE SEE UNIFORMED OFFICERS TAKING THE MAID AWAY WHILST PETER FALK CONTINUES TO TALK TO HER ASS FROM ONLY A FEW INCHES AWAY.
ROXY
I can go? What the f**k?
THERE IS A KNOCK AT THE DOOR
SGT TP
Come in captain.
AN ELEPHANT DRESSED LIKE PETER FALK BURSTS THROUGH THE WALL.
SGT TP
Ah Cpt Cajumbo late as ever? Making a trunk call?
VO
Next week Kajumbo returns next week in Ass no questions