Brian and Laura are in bed. Brian is looking closely at his feet.
Brian : Why do toes look like sausages?
Laura : They don't.
Brian : Yeah they do. Look, just ignore the nails and the athletes' foot and I could have five prime pork sausages on the end of my feet.
Laura : Brian we have to talk about this problem of yours.
Brian: Problem?
Laura: The way you see meat products everywhere on your body! Last week you were convinced that your left ear was a lamb chop.
Brian looks glum.
Laura: That mint sauce stained the new pillow cases for f**ks sake.
Brian: But you can't have lamb without mint sauce.
Laura: And what about the time you thought there was a Chicken Kiev growing out of your groin.
Brian: It really looked like one.
Laura: It was a hernia, Brian. You were in hospital the best part of a week. You kept asking if it was straight garlic or if it had ham and cheese in it. It needs to stop.
Brian looks crestfallen.
Laura: If it doesn't stop I'm leaving you. Walking out the door.
Brian: I'll try.
Laura: Good.
Pause as they lie in bed pondering.
Laura: Ever notice how fingers look like little bananas?
