It's getting near Greenbelt time and I'm writing material for our early evening show - Happy Hour. Let's try one out on you.
SATURDAY
SARAH:For us here at Greenbelt, the word 'green' is so much more than just the colour your sleeping bag has gone because it was still damp when you put it away last year. The Happy Hour team have been looking at ways we can make the whole festival experience - and perhaps even our lives back in the real world - more eco-friendly. Marc - I believe you've been looking into the food you eat at Greenbelt?
MARC:That's right. I'll be trying to eat food that's as sustainable as possible.
SARAH:And that means...?
SARAH:Chips, Sarah. Lots and lots of chips. I've been doing some research on Wikipedia and it turns out that chips are basically just thin potatoes and potatoes just sort of grow by themselves in the ground.
SARAH TRIES TO LOOK INTERESTED.
MARC
o I thought that every time I eat some, I could just plant a few chips round the campsite and when we come back next year loads will have grown and there will be enough for everyone.
SARAH:Nice. So we just need to work out what plants salt and vinegar grow on and we can do the same for them. Any other ideas?
MARC:Well, there seem to be things that people really only buy because they are in the festival mood but get bored with really quickly - which is a shame and a waste. So if anyone wants to see me after the show and give me their tutu, I'll wear it for the rest of the weekend and save them the guilt of buying it but not really wanting to wear it themselves. It's a bit like recycling.
SARAH
GET REPORTS FROM OTHER TEAM MEMBERS)
SUNDAY
SARAH:The Happy Hour team have been looking at innovative new ways that we can all become more eco-friendly. For example, I've decided to help the environment by offering to pick up its dry cleaning or babysit if the environment fancies a night out. But let's see what the rest of the team have been doing.
MARC:I've actually had two ideas. Have you heard of carbon off-setting? Where you pay to have some trees planted to negate the carbon footprint from flying abroad?
SARAH:Yes, when I was a kid I used to love running round my garden (STICKS ARMS OUT) going NYYYYYEEEEEEOOOOOWWWW!!! (RUNS ROUND STAGE PRETENDING TO BE A PLANE) pretending to be a plane. I know they weren't real flights but I still feel a bit guilty about how it might have contributed to global warming.
MARC:Exactly. And then I thought that if I could convince two other people not to fly, that would doubly offset my carbon and I could fly without feeling guilty. I was also reading somewhere that if you turn your thermostat down by just one degree, you can significantly reduce your carbon footprint.
SARAH:That all sounds great but we were hoping for things that have a bigger impact.
MARC:Yes. I thought about that too. So I've decided I need to get more people involved and the obvious way to do that is to combine the two. So I'd like as many of the audience as possible to join in. For every person who commits to not flying abroad so that I can double offset my flying, I will turn my thermostat down by two degrees to double offset them keeping theirs at the same temperature. Anybody who's up for it, please see me after the show and we can save the planet together.
SARAHGET REPORT FROM OTHER TEAM MEMBERS)
MONDAY
SARAH
ne of the things the Happy Hour team have been doing this Greenbelt is to look at new ways to help the environment. I spent part of yesterday hopping, which meant I made half as many footprints. I don't actually know how much of each footprint is made of carbon but every little bit helps, eh? So how have the rest of the team been getting on?
MARC:I've been asking people to decide not to fly abroad, to offset the carbon from my flights abroad. In return I've been offering to offset the carbon from their central heating by turning mine down two degrees for everyone who promises not to fly.
SARAH:How did it go?
MARC:Ummm... in some ways it was far more successful than I hoped...and in others it sort of backfired a bit. I got so many volunteers that to fulfil my commitment, I've got to somehow find the time and money for about 30 flights abroad so that all the volunteers have some carbon to offset. On the plus side, flying somewhere warm will be a bit of a relief as I'll be turning my thermostat down to minus 27 degrees, which is a bit chilly in this tutu.
SARAH:That's...erm...great?
MARC:Exactly. So thanks to everyone. I don't know about you Sarah but I think the globe actually feels a bit cooler already.
SARAHGET REPORT FROM OTHER TEAM MEMBERS)