ChegwinGate Page 8

Quote: Ben @ July 23 2010, 11:03 PM BST

Aren't most comics on the standup circuit just recycling Tim Vine jokes? BAN THE STANDUPS! BAN THEM ALL!

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Don't know if this is a serious comment or not, as this thread about a potentially important and interesting subject has been diverted somewhat, but if it's a serious accusation then no, not at all.

There seems to be this widely held idea that "all comedians steal jokes", this is simply not true, joke theft is massively frowned upon, try doing a gig anywhere on the circuit and just telling Tim Vine jokes and you'd find yourself in a whole world of trouble.

A Vine (esque) joke if ever I saw one, you heard it here first folks!-

I was in a big shop the other day. I murdered one of the assistants and robbed all the tills. I was in a 'World of Trouble'

I think there ought to be a proper, legally binding, national new joke register - it won't help for old jokes but anything new and original it would protect. So if Tim Vine wakes up with 127 new jokes in head one morning, he logs them in to the national register pronto, and the computer prog does its checks and calcluations and reports something like
'78 jokes original, as of 8.37 7/6/2011 these are sole property of Mr T Vine. 24 jokes pending approval, show some similarities to existing jokes, 35 jokes rejected as already existing in essence.'

Now if some IT nerd/whizkid could create a prog like that it would save all this never ending hassle and uncertainty in comedy, surely.

What would the penalties be for breaches:

1st offence - custard pie in the face
2nd offence - water poured down trousers
3rd offence - Become a writer on Big Top

Quote: Alfred J Kipper @ July 24 2010, 9:21 AM BST

I think there ought to be a proper, legally binding, national new joke register - it won't help for old jokes but anything new and original it would protect.

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Nice idea, but jokes rely on context, and that changes day by day. You could compose a gag relating to a current topic today, and then next year use exactly the same words to make a joke relating to an entirely different topic. It would be a different joke, with the same words.

What legal trouble, if any, could Chegwin get in for this? What I'm saying is: is there a definitive end to this?

Quote: Ben @ July 24 2010, 11:37 AM BST

is there a definitive end to this?

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Cheggar's death.

Quote: zooo @ July 23 2010, 8:12 PM BST

Cheggars can't be boozers.

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Brilliant!

Quote: Ben @ July 23 2010, 11:03 PM BST

Aren't most comics on the standup circuit just recycling Tim Vine jokes? BAN THE STANDUPS! BAN THEM ALL!

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I'd just get a chair like Dave Alen.

I think Keith Chegwin might have been the first famous person I ever saw in the flesh.

It was either him or Noel Edmonds. I'm not sure who came chronologically first.

Two of my jokes were published in this weeks Zoo magazine.
Unfortunately I didn't send them in myself.

Thanks Gav, Lincs & Ross Allen Kent.

I feel Chattered
Half Flattered & Half Cheggered

Quote: Steve Sunshine @ November 5 2010, 12:40 PM GMT

Two of my jokes were published in this weeks Zoo magazine.
Unfortunately I didn't send them in myself.

Thanks Gav, Lincs & Ross Allen Kent.

I feel Chattered
Half Flattered & Half Cheggered

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Bad show.
What were the jokes, if I might ask?

Bastards!

Quote: Steve Sunshine @ November 5 2010, 12:40 PM GMT

Two of my jokes were published in this weeks Zoo magazine.
Unfortunately I didn't send them in myself.

Thanks Gav, Lincs & Ross Allen Kent.

I feel Chattered
Half Flattered & Half Cheggered

View original

Co-incidence? Or did you post them online?

Gavin and Roscoff!

They were on Twitter so were there to be nicked I suppose.

On the Apprentice I pretended to be an Egyptian businssman who owned a departmet store Lord Sugar just said to me you're Fayed

I was determined to confuse the local bus drivers in fact, I've been pulling out all the stops