Euro Invasion

Euroinvasion – Sketch

INT. THEATRE. NIGHT

WE ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF A EUROVISION TYPE CONTEST. WE ARE JUST ABOUT TO REACH THE CLIMAX.

V.O (Irish accent)
Top of the morning to you and welcome to the final stage of tonight’s Euroinvasion contest to be sure. Serbia are in top spot at the moment closely followed by Ukraine and Bosnia. We just have the American vote so we have which will decide tonight’s close contest.

So without further ado, let’s go over to Washington and George for the American vote. Good morning Viet…sorry America!

CUT TO VIEW OF SCOREBOARD WITH INSET OF AMERICAN WITH A MIC WHO BEARS AN UNCANNY RESEMBLENCE TO MR BUSH.

George
My fellow non Americans, these are the votations of the American jury.

Unificated Kingdom… Nil points.
Israel Nil points.
Albania Six points.
Ukraine Ten points.

And our vote for Euro invasion is……..Serbia with twelve points.

THE CROWD GOES MAD. APPLAUSE.

CUT TO SERBIAN REPRESENTATIVE RECEIVING A WINNER’S SASH AND CRYING.

V.O
Well, I think that political voting was to be expected. The UK obviously with the special relationship cemented by Tony Blair keeping us well out of the picture as a target, were bound to get a low score. The Israel score speaks for itself. Albania are a bit of a surprise as there is no oil there and they have been very cooperative recently. But the top prize surely goes to Serbia being strategically the most obvious choice; domination giving access to an invading army to the rest of Europe and Asia minor. They were the favourites for invasion having a track record with America that started with the Dayton Agreeement many years ago.

CUT TO COMPERE

Compere
Join us next year in Belgrade under marshal law. That’s all from this year’s Euroinvasion, so it’s goodbye from everyone here in Basra. Goodnight.

I had to do this.

I like it. Think it needs a fair bit of work rewriting but the germ of a very good idea is there. Lengthen it with a few more jokes, camp it right up like that Ukrainian Christopher Biggins did and make it ludicrously glitzy. George Bush in a silver sparkly jacket with shades on for instance.

The Irish voiceover should have clearly had one too many sherries and say something particularly witty just before Bush comes on.

I think to me, George Bush is now and will always be Jon Culshaw...

Dan

I liked it as it was. A good piece of satire in my book

Banned the Euro! Save the pound! Don't give our sovereignty to Brussels!

Sorry wrong thread. I like this sketch. I would change the ending to something like 'and Serbia have lost, judging on the American's military policy so far, Georgia can expect to be invaded on Monday.'