INT. A FIELD HOSPITAL DURING THE ZULU WARS. DAY.
A SURGEON IS ATTENDING A PATIENT, ASSISTED BY AN ORDERLY. THE DEAD AND DYING ARE ALL AROUND, BANDAGED AND SOAKED IN BLOOD.
A YOUNG OFFICER LIMPS IN, LEANING FOR SUPPORT ON HIS SERGEANT.
THE SURGEON PLUNGES HIS HANDS INTO THE PATIENT'S STOMACH CAVITY, AND PULLS OUT THE INTESTINES WITH A LOUD PLOP. HE DROPS THEM IN A BUCKET.
SURGEON
(GLARING AT THE OFFICER) God damn all you butchers!
OFFICER
Look, I can see you're busy.
THE SURGEON PUSHES THE BODY OF THE PATIENT OFF THE OPERATING TABLE.
SURGEON
Here, on the table.
THE SERGEANT HELPS THE OFFICER ONTO THE TABLE, AND LEAVES. THE SURGEON EXPLORES THE OFFICER'S LEG, CAUSING HIM TO WINCE.
SURGEON
Bring me a saw and some hot tar.
OFFICER
Really? only I'm pretty sure it is just a sprain.
SURGEON
Best be on the safe side.
OFFICER
Only I have quite sensitive nostrils (HE SHIELDS HIMSELF FOM THE SURGEON'S BREATH) and I can't smell any whiff of gangrene.
SURGEON
Ha. Lieutenant Trubshaw said the same thing.
OFFICER
Yes, Lefty Trubshaw. You certainly sorted out his repetitive strain injury.
AN AFRICAN WARRIOR BURSTS INTO THE ROOM. HE IS CLAD IN LEOPARD SKINS AND WEARING A MASK. HE IS CARRYING A STAFF ADORNED WITH FETISHES. HE IS EVIDENTLY A WITCH DOCTOR. CROUCHING HE THUMPS THE STAFF AGAINST THE FLOOR IN A THREATENING FASHION.
OFFICER
Dear God.
THE WITCHDOCTOR PUSHES BACK HIS MASK AND BEAMS AT THEM.
WITCHDOCTOR.
I say old chap, that's a nasty sprain. Have you tried acupuncture?
THE SURGEON TAKES OUT A PISTOL AND SHOOTS HIM.
SURGEON
Bloody savages.
END.
