MILES
George Osbournes is making more cuts than a blind barber shaving the cast of River Dance. With the NHS, defence, education, public toilet cleaners and that man who scares pigeons by dressing like an eafle all be for the chop. Will the public sector lie back and take these cuts like a hairy Parisain poodle. With some saying we could be facing a winter of discontent like the 1970s but with less flares, tonight I'm talking to Rosy Red of the TUC.
ROSY
Oh Miles the days of workers gathered around brazierres and singing we will not be moved with Billy Bragg are over.
MILES
You mean your capitualting with out a fight? I did that with the washing up and now I'm cutting the girlfriends toenails every week. Surely surrender doesn't work?
ROSY
Not all Cameron has increased funding for one area...aid to Afghanistan we're just going to modify our tactics.
MILES
You're not suggesting an unremitting campaign of terrorist violenece and destruction? It didn't get me out of the washing up and I still had to trim those toe nails.
ROSY
Nothing so extreme. No instead of bolshy teachers sending kids home to shop lift at Woolworths. Now they'll be selling the little toerags opium.
MILES
Aren't you worried that Cameron might choose to send in the troops?
ROSY
With what? Our schools are too dangerous for kids cycle to, the army ran out of helicopters last year. Most parents won't go any where near unless driving 10 tonnes of armour plated SUV.
MILES
Well good luck with your campaign Rosy.
ROSY
Oh you know the government are also planning to cut the BBC's license fee?
MILES
The unbelieving swines! Coming up later we'll be interviewing the culture secretary on what he will be doing on the day of judgement!