NJ: The Island of Dr Murichael

What the f**k was I thinking? This is probably 'clown across a minefield'...

Dan

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The Island of Dr Murichael
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MILES:
Michael Jackson spent a fortune trying to convince doctors to implant vocal chords into his chimp Bubbles. If that worked, I'd liked to have heard his first words. Probably something along the lines of 'My mates Keith, Mick and Jonno all laugh at the stupid name you gave me'.

F/X: THUNDER/LIGHTNING

JACKO:
(MALEVOLENT, YET SQUEAKY) Mwahaha! Finally! I have given Bubbles the vocal chords he so desired! Arise!

F/X: LIGHTNING STRIKES

BUBBLES:
(NORTHERN) Eyup -- what's 'The Nutcase' going on about now? Oh! Bollards!

JACKO:
Bubbles!? Is that what you think of me?!

BUBBLES:
What 'ave you done!?! My God!! They're right -- you're tot'lly... Wacko!

JACKO:
Bubbles! Don't call me that! Not you as well. I gave you the power of speech as you're my only friend in the whole world!

BUBBLES:
What?! Really!? You're proper bonkers, mate. I'm a flippin' monkey!

JACKO:
(BLUBS) No! Even my dearest friend believes I'm crazy! What am I to do?! (WAILS)

BUBBLES:
Now, now, fella. No need for any of those women's tears. (PAUSE) I tell you what - why not reanimate that corpse over there in the corner. You know? The one of Macaulay Culkin's career?

JACKO:
(NORMAL) I'm crazy, Bubbles. Not a mentalist.

END

Personally, if Bubbles was a talking monkey belonging to one of the world's most famous pop stars, I'd have him playing the piano at the end like in the PG Tips adverts.

But would today's youth understand it? And even if they understood it, does it make any sense?

Was this a real story?

And MJ is old news.

Quite neat sketch though, if a badoomtish punchline.

Yeah, it was. In The Sun or NOTW, admittedly, but then made it to Monday's Guardian as well!

Yeah, badoomtish punchline, but Newsjack likes its baboomtish punchlines!

Cheers though

Dan

I like the idea behind it, but then a monkey speaking in a northen accent is always going to get a laugh from me.

My head is now going off on one imagining Bubbles trying to make Jacko more northern and turn him into a man's man.

Hmm, yeah. Maybe I should have gone with that angle...

Dan

I thought this was a brilliant idea.
Maybe a shift in angle would have elevated it slightly.
Good stuff though.

Cheers Mr Steve.

The cold light of day brings about that 'what was all that about?' feeling...

Dan