NJ: Cartones

Denied!

Dan

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Cartones
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MILES:
You can make your electric car sound what you like now with downloadable car noises. Why not plug your earphones in so no-one can here and run over those youngsters who insist on playing music through their telephone speakers?

F/X: PACE OF A 'RINGTONE' ADVERT . MANIC CAR NOISES REVVING VARIOUSLY IN BACKGROUND

VOICEOVER:
(FRENETIC) Get the latest cartones now!

F/X: HONK HONK

V/O:
Download the latest crazes to your electric car, now!

F/X: LARGE CROWD GOING 'OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH!'

V/O:
Yes! Noises such as that of failure at major sporting events! Text 'British Sporting Disappointment' to 81252 now!

Or how about 'Tory-Loving Fascist Presenter'!?

F/X: CLARKSON SAYING 'AND ON THAT BOMBSHELL!'

V/O:
Government budget cuts!

F/X: WIND AND TUMBLEWEED

V/O:
Or that timeless classic - Crazy Frog!

F/X: RACING CAR. BEEPS HORN.

FRENCHMAN:
Haw-he-haw-he-haw! Ze roat hog!!

V/O:
Or, if you're really brave, how about (PAUSE) just the sound of a normal car!

F/X: BRUM BRUM CHUG CHUG. LONG SQUEAL OF BRAKES. CRASH.

V/O:
Text 'Uninsured Scam Artist' to 81252 now!

F/X:CAR BURSTS INTO FLAMES

V/O:
Download cartones now! Making roads sound like a teenage paradise!

SMALLPRINT:
Texts cost £1000 each. This is a subscription service. To unsubscribe, send a written letter by post, a cheque for a million pounds and half a pound of flesh to the address that just flashed up in a single frame in the tiny text you can't even see at the bottom of your screen.

END

Nice idea Dan and I can imagine how it would be performed.

I liked it, Dan, and you are the man.

Ben's tip: Save it for the next RFTP. There's a good boy.

Cheers fellas.

Dan

Dan - liking your ideas this week. Also something appeals to me about sounds effects in radio sketches.

Nice idea but did I miss the news story about it? As others say sounds like a good bet for RFTP.

Cheers Stephen. I am very much an ideas man

In the workshops they said concentrate on sound f/x -- it's what makes radio sketches work over the TV variety, so always try that angle rather than the two people talking variety (mind you, they do loads of them!)

Yes, it's a genuine story. Part of the problem with electric cars is that they're silent, so they need a 'false' engine noise so they don't go around running people over. One or two companies are allowing you to download a 'tune' to your car (one of a variety of engine noises).

Nice idea about RFTP from Ben. Think I'll rewrite a bit for when that comes around so it's less shit then after '20 minutes thinking and writing really quickly before the deadline'.

Dan

Do they use that many sound effects in NewsJack?

I liked the sketch and the Miles Intro was nice.
Does Clarkson make a Cameo in all your sketches, like a fat permed Hitchcock?

Nooooo...

<takes off Clarkson wig and strap-on pot belly and stops walking around flat saying 'Pooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrr' and hitting stuff with a hammer>