This is a sketch I wrote last year for a show I was involved in at Edinburgh Fringe festival. It got a mixed reaction so I thought I would post it here.
And a quick note, I know that characters are usually named/numbered in the order they speak. But I cut an irrelevant and unfunny part from the intro, meaning the numbering is a little backwards. Anyway, any feedback would be appreciated.
Hijack.
Four people sat on a plane.
Person Three jumps to his feet.
PERSON THREE:
(SHOUTING)
EVERY BODY TO THE BACK OF THE PLANE. I HAVE A BOMB!
There is a moment of silent. Followed by laughter from everyone else on the plane.
PERSON THREE: (CONT'D)
MOVE! I'M HIJACKING THIS PLANE!
More laughter.
PERSON FOUR:
No you're not!
PERSON THREE:
What do you mean? Of course I am.
PERSON TWO:
Look, we know you're not doing it, so could you please just sit down.
PERSON THREE:
Why don't you.... oh....
A Pause.
PERSON THREE: (CONT'D)
OH... I get it.
He looks at them disgustedly.
PERSON THREE: (CONT'D)
You racist gits.
PERSON ONE:
Racist?
PERSON THREE:
Yeah. You don't believe I'm trying to hijack this plane because I'm white!
PERSON ONE:
That's not true.
PERSON TWO:
It sort of is.
PERSON THREE:
Unbelievable. I'm honestly in shock. I can't believe this kind of prejudice still exists.
PERSON TWO:
Well you don't exactly come off as an extremist or anything.
PERSON THREE:
What are you talking about? I'm not a terrorist! There are other reasons to hijack planes you know? They haven't got the market cornered or anything. They haven't copyrighted plane hijacking's.
PERSON ONE:
Well, what is it that you want then?
PERSON THREE:
Ransom money of course.
PERSON TWO:
Oh! Of course!
PERSON FOUR:
That makes much more sense. You having money troubles? I'm so sorry, carry on, we'll act scared and everything.
Person Three slums disheartened into his chair.
PERSON THREE:
Well, I don't want to now.
PERSON ONE:
Honestly, we'll act really scared.
PERSON THREE:
No I appreciate that, I just don't feel up to it anymore.
PERSON TWO:
We're really sorry.
PERSON THREE:
I appreciate that. But it doesn't take back your reactions.
Person one stands and moves over to person three, puts his hand on his shoulder.
PERSON ONE:
Look, if it's money troubles, we'll have a collection. See what the other passengers can muster up.
PERSON THREE:
That would be nice... and if there not willing too... can I threaten them with my bomb?
Person one smiles.
PERSON ONE:
Sure. Of course you can!