British Comedy Guide

Hijack (Sketch)

This is a sketch I wrote last year for a show I was involved in at Edinburgh Fringe festival. It got a mixed reaction so I thought I would post it here.

And a quick note, I know that characters are usually named/numbered in the order they speak. But I cut an irrelevant and unfunny part from the intro, meaning the numbering is a little backwards. Anyway, any feedback would be appreciated.

Hijack.

Four people sat on a plane.

Person Three jumps to his feet.

PERSON THREE:
(SHOUTING)
EVERY BODY TO THE BACK OF THE PLANE. I HAVE A BOMB!

There is a moment of silent. Followed by laughter from everyone else on the plane.

PERSON THREE: (CONT'D)
MOVE! I'M HIJACKING THIS PLANE!

More laughter.

PERSON FOUR:
No you're not!

PERSON THREE:
What do you mean? Of course I am.

PERSON TWO:
Look, we know you're not doing it, so could you please just sit down.

PERSON THREE:
Why don't you.... oh....

A Pause.

PERSON THREE: (CONT'D)
OH... I get it.

He looks at them disgustedly.

PERSON THREE: (CONT'D)
You racist gits.

PERSON ONE:
Racist?

PERSON THREE:
Yeah. You don't believe I'm trying to hijack this plane because I'm white!

PERSON ONE:
That's not true.

PERSON TWO:
It sort of is.

PERSON THREE:
Unbelievable. I'm honestly in shock. I can't believe this kind of prejudice still exists.

PERSON TWO:
Well you don't exactly come off as an extremist or anything.

PERSON THREE:
What are you talking about? I'm not a terrorist! There are other reasons to hijack planes you know? They haven't got the market cornered or anything. They haven't copyrighted plane hijacking's.

PERSON ONE:
Well, what is it that you want then?

PERSON THREE:
Ransom money of course.

PERSON TWO:
Oh! Of course!

PERSON FOUR:
That makes much more sense. You having money troubles? I'm so sorry, carry on, we'll act scared and everything.

Person Three slums disheartened into his chair.

PERSON THREE:
Well, I don't want to now.

PERSON ONE:
Honestly, we'll act really scared.

PERSON THREE:
No I appreciate that, I just don't feel up to it anymore.

PERSON TWO:
We're really sorry.

PERSON THREE:
I appreciate that. But it doesn't take back your reactions.

Person one stands and moves over to person three, puts his hand on his shoulder.

PERSON ONE:
Look, if it's money troubles, we'll have a collection. See what the other passengers can muster up.

PERSON THREE:
That would be nice... and if there not willing too... can I threaten them with my bomb?

Person one smiles.

PERSON ONE:
Sure. Of course you can!

Very good idea and in the first half it's gone some nice energy going on. But it sort of peters out towards the end and it feels like it's characters talking about ideas rather than real people.

Share this page