Make sure a joke writer wins £5000 Page 3

I didn't get any retweeted, though some American DJ cut'n'pasted my self-hypnosis one.

My entries, if I can just hijack the thread I am not consciously aware of stealing any of these, btw.

"The doctor asked me if I was sexually active. I said, not really, if anything, I'm a bit laissez-faire."

"I'm such a new man I don't even care if my girlfriend fakes orgasm. As long as she doesn't fake the ironing or the washing."

"Paedophiles get a bad rep, don't they? Still, I suppose it's all swings and roundabouts."

"Want to stop being tight so I bought a self-hypnosis book. Now, I hear the word 'frugal' and start clucking like a chicken."

"That Old Boiler Scrappage Scheme reminded me of my mother-in-law. She's a plumber."

"Deed Poll's expensive, isn't it? I reckon you're just paying for the name."

"I lost my job, my wife left me and I forfeited on the mortgage. Then I got diarrhoea. That was the world fell out of my bottom."

Dan

I particuarly like the plumber one Dan!

Merci, Mr P. I particularly like your books, especially the really shiny new one that's not quite out yet

Dan

I just saw this one Twitter...

"The #5kgag winner is: Why is Mr T against nuclear power? Because he pities the fuel... Congrats to @davidboyce1 !"

I knew an old gag would win.
I remember everybody telling that one in the school playground. And I left school in 1985.

Quote: Mikey Jackson @ July 7 2010, 9:34 PM BST

I remember everybody telling that one in the school playground. And I left school in 1985.

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Why?

Why? Because I'd come of age

Quote: Mikey Jackson @ July 7 2010, 10:02 PM BST

Why? Because I'd come of age

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That's a bloody good reason

Quote: Mikey Jackson @ July 7 2010, 9:34 PM BST

I knew an old gag would win.
I remember everybody telling that one in the school playground. And I left school in 1985.

View original

He's just won £5,000. Good luck to him, I say.

Problem was with the organisers, not the participants.

The Klingon / B'tah gag caught me offguard and really made me laugh. One for the Trekkies perhaps.

Oddly-enough I sold a greetings card idea about a woman in Boots a few years ago. (Probably inspired by teh fact that my missus works for the very same company). I can't remember exactly how it went but it said on the front of the card "Birthday Boy! How'd you like a woman in boots to discipline you?" And on the inside it was an illustration of a chemist telling a guy off for drinking too much on his birthday. Or something. But you get my gist.

Obviously I'm not saying in any way that that particular joke was ripped off but it's swings 'n' roundabouts innit? Jokes are hard to copyright I suppose. The world's a big place and people are always gonna have similar ideas.

Quote: don rushmore @ July 7 2010, 11:21 PM BST

He's just won £5,000. Good luck to him, I say.

Problem was with the organisers, not the participants.

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The bloke is obviously an exceptional talent, he won £5000 with his first ever tweet and only submitted two jokes...

Elementary, my dear Watson.

This is my first ever post on this site, I only found it today, which would explain my first question.
Could anyone tell me what are the pros and cons of posting on here and is there anyone I should be wary of?.
Also what is the piracy level like? I'm mean are you people unknowingly keeping circuit comedians going?
I myself am quiet friendly so don't be afraid to ask me questions as I will supply an honest answer.
I did read that Charmlessnerk and I think he has Ronnie Barkers humour of to a T it was quite seamless which is very difficult to do, Bravo!