NJ - Pensions

another cold shoulder.

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MILES:In the last week, government plans to increase the national retirement age has raised eyebrows amongst unions and charities. With me tonight to explain their plans are Conservative work and pensions secretary: Ian Duncan Smith and Lib Dem pensions minister: Steve Webb. Gentlemen, good-evening.

IDS/SW:Good evening.

MILES:The current retirement age is 65 for men and 60 for women. Many people see this as a fair age to finally put your feet up after a lifetime of hard work, and spend some quality time with the people you love. How is this going to change?

IDS:Well Miles, in an ideal world we'd all be retiring in our 60's, spending time with loved ones...as you say, going for long walks in the morning, and maybe knocking one off to Countdown in the afternoon. These are the things we all look forward to, isn't that right Steve?

STEVE WEBB:Yes.

IDS:But unfortunately, we have an ageing population Miles. And we think the pensionable age should reflect this.

MILESo your plan is?

IDS:We're going to increase the state pension age to ten years after death. Isn't that right Steve?

STEVE WEBB:Yes.

MILES:Ten years after death? Is that not a little draconian?

IDS:Not at all Miles. You see, currently a lot of people are being forced into retirement simply because they're deemed too old or too dead to work. We don't want to be losing their talent and enthusiasm from the workplace due to some arbitrary age or life limit.

MILES:But, ten years after death? What work could possibly be open to people once rigamortis has set in?

IDS:Miles, Miles, Miles. I think you are really overlooking the quality of work available to rotting corpses in today's jobs market. Isn't that right Steve?

STEVE WEBB:Yes.

IDSlenty of work is available for the former living, if they really want it.

MILES:I'm not entirely sure they do really want it. Could you give some examples of such jobs that might be available?

IDSLONG PAUSE) Scarecrow.

MILEScarecrow?

IDScarecrow. Mannequin. Hat-stand!!! A draught-excluder maybe. These are all viable employment opportunities for those who have shed their mortal coil.

MILESteve Webb, are these really plans that the Lib-Dems could put their weight behind? For example, do you feel you could do your job just as effectively if you were dead?

STEVE WEBBPAUSE)Yes.

IDS:You see Miles, death needn't be a barrier to employment. The Conservatives have had members in the House of Lords who have been dead for decades, and they are just as valuable in death as they were in life.

MILES:Ian Duncan Smith, Steve Webb, thank you for your time.

IDS:Thank you Miles, it's been a pleasure.

STEVE WEBB:Yes.

I thought there were some good bits in this.
I especially liked

IDS: Not at all Miles. You see, currently a lot of people are being forced into retirement simply because they're deemed too old or too dead to work.

I wonder if it needs IDS & Steve though.
Perhaps it could be a bit snappier, but it definitely has promise.

Hi Trabs

Idea is good but could definitely be snappier, but first thing that hits me is that people don't really know who IDS is (though could be exaggerated to be a *really* boring person) and certainly don't know who Steve Webb is (I didn't) even though he is literally a 'Yes Man' here.

However, pay heed to Dan Tetsell's latest blog about there only being two male cast members. Lewis can only play one male part in a sketch, and Miles is playing himself, so you're left with a male part hanging here. Much better to have made it a female part so at least one of Jess and Margaret could have played it. ie I don't think you're doing yourself any favours.

Hope this helps

Dan

Thanks for the feedback.

Maybe it didn't need Steve Webb in there, but I just thought it was a good way of also lampooning the role of the Lib Dems in the coalition government with minimum dialogue. I also find repetition funny. Without him it probably would have been sharper.

People wouldn't know who IDS is? I reckon he's a pretty big political figure, and if Newsjack is going to deal with political issues, you would have to assume people would know who he is. Steve Webb is a nobody though, you are right. You are also right about it being three male characters, as soon as I read that on the blog this week I thought my sketch didn't stand a chance.

Next week they will have no submissions for male characters and everyone's best gags will be written for Miles. I can feel it in my water.

Cheers.

I meant more they don't know IDS's role in the government and we don't really know what he sounds like so, however good Lewis' impression is, he'd have to start by being introduced.

It was so much easier to lampoon politicians when everyone watched Spitting Image on Sunday nights...

Dan