The faux-Italian accent of Fabio's is probably mildly racist but, you know, gotta laugh...
Dan
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WORLD CUP BABOONS
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MILES:
It's not going so well in the England camp, with a failed John Terry mutiny, already down to the bare bones defensively and even some baboons breaking into Peter Crouch's parents' room to steal some Pringles. Unacceptable wild behaviour. Bringing Pringles to South Africa...
F/X:TWO MEN WALKING DOWN HOTEL CORRIDOR. KEYS JANGLE
JOHN TERRY:
So, Boss, I really don't mean to offend-
FABIO:
Ay, I see, John-o! A like-a with-a Wayne Breedge.
JOHN TERRY:
Erm, yeah. Kinda. Anyway, it all needed saying - drop Heskey, play Joe Cole and everything will fit into place.
FABIO:
You-a mean we qualeefy for-a... how you say? Second-a round?
JOHN TERRY:
No, I mean Coley will get off my back about calling his missus fit.
F/X:KEYS IN LOCK. DOOR OPENING. WILD BABOON NOISES, JUMPING AROUND, MUNCHING CRISPS.
JOHN TERRY:
What the hell-?!!?
F/X:CRAZY BABOON SHRIEKING. JUMPING ON MAN'S HEAD
FABIO:
Aaaargh-eee!!!! Gettoffee me-a!!!
JOHN TERRY:
Wayne! Get down! We've told you about this before!
F/X:MORE SUBDUED BABOON NOISES WITH AN OBVIOUS SCOUSE BENT
END