This Thread will contain the pieces of scripts you guys have done and will let you all see what everyone is up to without messing up the main thread.
Thanks
I will upload the pieces I have tonight
Devil's Blurb Episode 1
Look forward to seeing it. Will it sort of be in chunks?
Begining of plot B - I've done a little chopping and changing on this one
DEIRDRE
You know Mavis, you do spoil your Charlotte.
MAVIS
Well she is my little treasure. I was 47 when I was blessed with her. I've got no-one else to spend my money on.
DEIRDRE
So what does she plan on doing when she leaves school?
MAVIS
She wants to be a singer.
DEIRDRE (ASTONISHED)
Are you sure? A singer?
MAVIS
It's all she's ever wanted.
DEIRDRE
But you've heard her sing? You can't just throw money at it and expect her to succeed. Haven't you heard of Mrs Miller?
MAVIS
No. Why what happened to her?
DEIRDRE
She hired the Carnegie Hall so that she could perform and they all laughed at her. Then they pelted her with cabbage. (PAUSE) Then stones. (PAUSE) Then fecal matter.
MAVIS
But she's not my Charlotte is she?
DEIRDRE
Believe me. It will take more than money to make your Charlotte a great singer.
SCENE AN OFFICE. AN DEV CLERK IS SITTING AT A DESK. MAVIS IS SITTING OPPOSITE.
DEV
Now then
(BEAT)
DEV CHECKS HIS NOTES
DEV(CONT)
Mrs Arkwright. How can we help you?
MAVIS
I understand that you turn dreams to reality.
DEV
Well we do our best.
MAVIS
Does this service really work?
DEV
Of course it works. How else do you explain Vanessa Feltz's losing all that weight?
MAVIS
But, she put the weight back on.
DEV
She didn't take out the warranty. Look, this service works. Every time someone wins a contest when they were not the favourite to do so, that's us. Remember Wimbledon beating Liverpool in the FA Cup final of 1988? Needed some overtime but we did it. Now, what can we do for you?
MAVIS
It's my daughter, Charlotte.
DEV (DEFENSIVELY)
Oh.
MAVIS
I'd like her to fulfil her dreams and destiny.
DEV
Give her time I’m sure she’ll get up the duff soon.
MAVIS
To be the greatest singer in the world.
BEAT.
MAVIS
Well? Can you make that happen?
DEV
Well -.
MAVIS
It's all she's ever wanted to do.
DEV
Well there may be something we can do. Now you do know how we operate don't you?
MAVIS
Yes, yes. I don't care about myself. It's my Charlotte I'm concerned about.
DEV
There is just one other small problem I should point out.
MAVIS
What?
DEV
Well, with her - handicap so to speak. Unfortunately we can't make her seem like a good singer to everyone.
MAVIS
Oh dear.
DEV
But we CAN make her sound good to the right people. Those who make the important decisions in the music business.
MAVIS
In that case ... where do I sign?
DEV
If you just sign here, here and here. Thank you Mrs Arkwright. It's a pleasure doing business with you.
MAVIS
Thank you very much. I can't tell you how grateful I am to you.
DEV
Oh you will be. Eternally grateful.
MAVIS GETS UP AND LEAVES THE OFFICE.
CHRIS
That was harsh you could of made her daughter brilliant with no problem
DEV
Where’s the fun in that anyway now I have just got to wait until the daughter realises she’s a talentless tart and she’ll come to me and bam two for price of one, return business my bulb headed friend.
This is the Catherine introduction section that I've been working on any comments views don't like something give us a shout
INT: LATER
Chris
Do you think Sue Storm is hot?
Dev
Never met her
Chris
The girl from the fantastic four.
Dev
The invisible woman?
Chris
Yeah do you think she’s hot?
Dev
No
Chris
Not at all? blonde hair, blue eyes, tight fitting body suit…
Dev(interrupting)
Two dimensional
Chris pulls his chair in closer, his tone is more nervous almost whispering.
Chris
She could give you the invisible touch, if you were out in a restaurant she could be touching you and no one would know …
Dev
I’ll be talking to your mother! I thought you bible pounders were against attractive women, sins of the flesh and all…
Chris
It’s ok though she’s not real flesh
Dev
A bit of an oversight, you should come out more not waste you baby fluid on comic books girl
Chris
After the last time we went out? I don’t think so, you’re the whole reason I have this.
CHRIS POINTS TO HIS HALO
Dev
Here we go again I told you, it was the clients fault how was I to know him asking for the best poker hand wouldn’t turn out exactly how I intended.
Chris
It wasn’t that difficult to find out he cheated really, how many decks of cards have you found with two kings of hearts? And when it came to the inexorable beating, by burly men whose names resemble the sound effects in batman you were magically, no were to be seen.
Dev
You had it under control; anyway he was your client I was just helping out.
EXT: REAL WORLD
CATHERINE CHECKS THE ADDRESS ON HER SLIP AND ENTERS THE SHOP.
INT: THE SHOP
CHRIS AND DEV’S HEADS POP UP LIKE MEER CATS FROM BEHIND THEIR CUBICLES, DAWN THE RECEPTIONIST LOOKS UNINTERESTED AS CATHERINE APPROACHES NERVOUSLY.
Catherine
Hi I’m..umm meant to be starting today?
DEV LEAPS OUT OF HIS CUBICLE AND SPRINTS DOWN TO MET HER
Dev
(COOL)
Hi how are you? I’m Dev, let me show you around
INT. JEREMY’S OFFICE
She is singing. Jeremy is watching. We hear what Jeremy hears. Charlotte has the voice of angel.
Jeremy
Brilliant. Just brilliant. You’ve got to come with me to the studio tomorrow.
Charlotte
Okay.
Jeremy
Wow, that didn’t take much convincing did it?
Charlotte
Do you really think I’ve got talent?
Jeremy
Yes. And I should know. After all, I have signed literally (BEAT) a lot of artists. You’re better that all of them.
Charlotte
Tell me I’m going to be famous.
Jeremy
(confused) You want to be Kate Moss?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In the studio, Charlotte is getting ready. Jeremy is talking to a record executive.
Record Exec: I’m looking forward to this. You keep coming to me with new talent and always come up trumps.
Jeremy
Wait till you hear her, she’s the best I’ve heard.
Record Exec
You’re not just saying that because she’s got a nice ass?
Jeremy
Not at all.
Record Exec
Okay then, let’s hear it.
CHARLOTTE STARTS SINGING THE SAME SONG SHE SANG TO JEREMY AT HOME. THIS TIME WE HEAR WHAT THE RECORD EXECS HEAR. SHE SOUNDS AWFUL. THE RECORD EXECUTIVE LOOK ASTONISHED. THEY CAN’T BELIEVE THAT JEREMY HAS RECOMMENDED SOMEONE SO BAD. THE RECORD EXEC TAKES JEREMY OUT OF THE ROOM.
Outside the room, the record executive confronts Jeremy.
Record Exec
You having a laugh?
Jeremy
Eh?
Record Exec
What the hell is that?
Jeremy
I’m not following you.
Record Exec
That’s the worst singing I’ve ever heard. And I’ve watched the auditions for the X factor.
Jeremy
Are you insane? She’s got the voice of an angel.
Record Exec
Yeah. An angel that choking on a sandwich.
Jeremy
Screw you, man.
Jeremy takes Charlotte home.
Death Sequence and End of Episode - tweaked 12.05.07 to remove the contridiction
JEREMY
You know, I really am the luckiest man alive. Not only have I just married the most beautiful woman in the world. She also has the most wonderful voice and is destined for superstardom.
CHARLOTTE
Ever since I was a little girl I dreamed of the day that I would be the most famous singer in the world.
JEREMY
It's only a matter of time my darling. With your voice and talent and my guidance there's nothing can stop us.
SHE GOES INTO THE BATHROOM
KNOCK ON THE DOOR.
WAITER (OOV)
Hello, room service.
JEREMY GETS UP TO OPEN THE DOOR AND LETS THE WAITER IN HOLDING A TRAY WITH A BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE AND 2 GLASSES.
JEREMY
Just put it on the table over there thank you. He gives him a tip.
WAITER
Thank you very much sir. And may I say how much I love your act.
JEREMY (PUZZLED)
My act? What do you mean - "My act?"
WAITER
Well - you and that - "singer".
JEREMY
Do you mean my wonderfully talented wife?
WAITER (LAUGHING)
Very good sir. I mean the body is smoking but she's got the voice of a moose on heat.
JEREMY
You what?
WAITER
It’s Brilliant sir. The King's new clothes, and all that.
JEREMY
Are you saying that I don't think she can sing either?
WAITER
Surely sir, you cannot belief for a moment that she can. I once heard a noise similar coming from a slaughter house.
JEREMY
My wife has the voice of a nightingale.
WAITER
Sucked into a jet engine and shredded into a million tiny fragments of feather.
JEREMY (INCANDESCENT)
How dare you. Get out, go on, get out of here immediately.
CHARLOTTE (HURRYING BACK INTO THE ROOM AS JEREMY PUSHES THE WAITER OUT OF THE HOTEL ROOM)
Darling? What's going on?
JEREMY
Nothing to worry your pretty little head about.
CHARLOTTE
I thought I heard something about a moose on heat.
JEREMY
Oh, that's just one of the desserts.
***********
JEREMY AND CHARLOTTE ARE CUDDLED UP IN BED WATCHING TV, A NEWS REPORT IS ON QUESTIONING IF JEREMEY IF SUFFERING FROM A BLOW TO THE HEAD. JEREMY CLICKS THE TV OFF.
JEREMY: Oh they're all so unfair on you my darling. Am I the only one who recognises your true talent?
JEREMY KISSES HER ON THE CHEEK AND GAZES AT HER, SUDDENLY AN IDEA HITS HIM.
JEREMY: Of course
JEREMY PULLS HIS MOBILE PHONE OUT HIS POCKET AND DIALS.
JEREMY: Hi Greg, yeah the Honey moons going great mate. No, not really. Greg, Greg! I what to do a live feed from the honey moon suite tonight, lets put all this nonsense about Charlie to rest once and for all. Yes I’m serious, no I haven’t been drinking…Just get me a Crew over here within the hour!
************
The TV Crew are setting up in the honey moon suit Charlotte is pouting on the end of the bed.
JEREMY
Come on Honey this’ll be brilliant no more snotty news reader making fun of you we’ll prove to them all you can sing then we’ll go on our 3 week vacation in Bermuda.
HE WIPES THE TEARS FROM HER EYES AND KISSES HER FORE HEAD.
JEREMY
Now go get ‘em Honey
CHARLOTTE STARTS SINGING TERRIBLY OUT OF TUNE. JEREMY’S EYES GO WIDE AS FOR THE FIRST TIME HE HEARS WHAT EVERYONE ELSE HEARS. HE PULLS HER AWAY FROM THE CAMERA.
JEREMY
Ok very funny, you’ve had you fun now.
CHARLOTTE (HURT)
What do you mean? That was my BEST singing.
JEREMY
No, no, no. I know you can sing like a lark. Sing it again.
CHARLOTTE BEGINS TO SING AGAIN, THIS TIME REALLY GOING FOR IT SHE `REACHES FOR THE SUN AND PUTS IN HER POCKET` BUT IT IS STILL AWFUL ENOUGH TO STRIP PAINT OF A WALL.
JEREMY
Why are you doing this to me?
**************
BEDROOM DOOR CHARLOTTE IS LOCKED INSIDE. JEREMY TAPS GENTLY ON THE DOOR.
JEREMY
Sweetie Can you let me in?
THE DOOR SWINGS OPEN AND JEREMY SHEEPISHLY ENTERS.
JEREMY
Oh my darling, I never meant to hurt you.
CHARLOTTE
(BEWEEN SOBS)
I thought that you were the one person who had total faith in my ability.
JEREMY
Who cares about the stupid music lets move away together, I know a beautiful village in the south of france were we can leave this all behind us.
CHARLOTTE
I care!! Music is my life!
JEREMY (GOES TO CONSOLE HER)
Oh my darling.
CHARLOTTE
No - keep away from me (SHE BACKS OFF TOWARDS THE OPEN WINDOW)
JEREMY
No No - watch out ..........
CHARLOTTE (FALLS OUT OF THE WINDOW)
AAAAAAAARRRGHHHHH
JEREMY RUSHES TO THE WINDOW AND LOOKS DOWN
JEREMY
…Shit
<LINK INTO PLOT A DEV FREAKING OUT BECAUSE THEY’LL NEVER MAKE THE QOUTA WITH SO LITTLE TIME LEFT>
JEREMY RUSHES TO WHERE CHARLOTTE LIES MOTIONLESS ON THE GROUND.
JEREMY
Oh my God! Charlotte....
DEV IS SITTING ON A BENCH WITH CATHERINE, CHARLOTTE ALMOST AT HIS FEET HE SMILES AND APPROACHES JEREMY, BUT CATHERINE BRUSHES PAST AND APPROACHES JEREMY.
CATHERINE
Hello there Sir, I may have something that’ll interest you
END
Thanks Gavin. There's a couple of typos that need sorting and also there's a bit of a contradiction with another bit we haven't shown yet.
The bit about "her parents". Anyway let's see what everyone else thinks.
I've updated and tweaked the script above any comments are welcome
I see Chris still doesn't cause Charlotte's death. What about Jeremy's meeting with his Record executives that I wrote?
Did you send it to Gavin?
I am adding pieces trying to keep it in some sort of order so your pieces are going to be up soon, as for the death of Charlotte it's only in it's draft form.
Do you want me to have a go at it?
How's this for a first draft?
SCENE INSIDE THE HOTEL ROOM. JEREMY IS TALKING TO THE DIRECTOR AND THE SOUND MAN (CHRIS) WHILE THERE ARE SOME OTHER TECHNICIANS MILLING ABOUT.
DIRECTOR : Right then. Where do you think would be best? Over by the window?
JEREMY : Yes - that would be great. Standing at the window looking out and singing to the birds in the sky.
DIRECTOR MOVES OFF TO ORGANISE THINGS.
S/M CHRIS : Erm, do you think I could have a word?
JEREMY : Can't it wait? Can't you see we're busy right now? I'd like to get this ridiculous situation resolved as soon as possible.
S/M CHRIS : The situation being?
JEREMY : This absurd insinuation that my beautiful wife has the voice of Edith Artois.
S/M CHRIS : Aah. Well that's the thing you see. That's just what I wanted to talk to you about. I mean, I've just done a sound check.
JEREMY : Yes - I heard it. Can we do another one? The feedback was atrocious.
S/M CHRIS : I'm afraid that wasn't the feedback. That was the voice of your beloved.
JEREMY : No, no, no. You've got it wrong. I've heard her and she has the most wonderful voice.
S/M CHRIS (FIRMLY) : I'm afraid not. But it doesn't have to be the end of the world. I mean - she may have a voice that could (strip paint at 100 yards/would send a bat insane/?????).
JEREMY : I'd do anything to make her a succesful singer.
S/M CHRIS : Yes - I know. But don't say that too loudly. There are some who would take you up on that.Wall's have ears and all that. You could be letting yourself in for more than you realise. I mean - does it matter if she can't sing? After all, she is the most beautiful woman you've seen.
JEREMY : But it was her dream. It was all she ever wanted.
S/M CHRIS : With modern technology you can give even the most tone deaf bint a number one hit. Take ??????? for instance.
JEREMY : You do have a point. I don't want to lose her just because her voice doesn't match her looks.
S/M CHRIS : Good boy. you know it makes sense.
CHRIS SWINGS ROUND TO SLAP JEREMY ON THE BACK. AS HE TURNS ROUND CHARLOTTE IS COMING TOWARDS THEM - THE BOOM MIC OVER CHRIS'S SHOULDER SWINGS ROUND AND KNOCKS HER THROUGH THE OPEN WINDOW, OVER THE BALCONY ON TO THE GROUND BELOW.
Aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhh.
I've a feeling there are a few continuity contradictions but we'll be able to see things better once it's all bolted together.
Yeah Dave there are a few but nothing major and its to be expected this is our first group project and I think we're doing a damn good job to. Remember this script we're seeing is draft, we got revisions to come up after we finish.
I had no idea this thread was here and only saw it by chance, because generally I only check site when I get a email notification saying reply so if you can, when ever a new thread like this is opened leave a message on the last thread or just drop me a PM
Righto Scott will do matey
Right Ive gotta catch up now