The Metaphysics of Pete Doherty

The Metaphysics of Pete Doherty
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EXT: A PAVEMENT. DAY

CAPTION APPEARS: ‘THE METAPHYSICS OF PETE DOHERTY’.

WE SEE PETE DOHERTY WALKING ERRATICALLY AND ALL OVER THE PLACE. DEATH IS SWIFTLY MOVING ALL AROUND HIM WILDLY SWINGING HIS SCYTHE AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN LIKE A SAMURAI WARRIOR AND MISSING EVERY SINGLE TIME. HE STOPS AND LEANS ON HIS SCYTHE OUT OF BREATH. PETE KEEPS WOBBLING ALL OVER THE PLACE.

DEATH
(CATCHING BREATH AND INCREDULOUS) Why can't I hit him? *Why* can't I hit him? You'd have thought *once* in fifteen years...

HE RUNS TO CATCH UP AND BEGINS SWINGING WILDLY AGAIN AND KEEPS MISSING. LIFE IS SAT ATOP A BUS SHELTER WATCHING THE CHARADE.

LIFE
(SHOUTS) I told you you wouldn't be able to get him!

DEATH
(SHOUTS) You don't get your tenner until he's thirty! I'll get him before then!

DEATH CONTINUES HIS PURSUIT OF PETE, AS LIFE LAUGHS UPROARIOUSLY IN THE BACKGROUND.

END

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Originally meant for the Channel 4 'Death' Compo, but I like the characters I've created so we may see more of 'Life & Death' in other scenarios!

Anyway, let me know what you think.

Cheers

Dan

T'is quite funny though!

Very good - but I think there's scope for making it a little bit longer.

Reminded me of the olde school Looney tunes very funny...I don't like Doherty. I think it'd look brilliant as an animation

aww wow! I agree Gavin, perfect for animation. Really good concept me thinks

Like it. On the animation theme, it makes me think of Spitting Image..

Hahahaha! I really liked it!

The life and death characters would be great in other slots too! What would 'life' look like!?

hmm I 'spose like an angel I guess...haha or it could be Carl Barat...that would be madness

Aw, that would be sweet.

Death could be Kate Moss.

hehe I can imagine Carl with his hat over his eyes, looking up at Kate like "it's not happening"-and her running after in ridiculous heels

Hehe -- I like the Carl Barat as the '(Choose) Life' character (for a number of reasons) as well as Kate Moss as 'Death' as she's pretty skeletal already!

Dave,

Quote: David Chapman @ May 11, 2007, 3:56 PM

Very good - but I think there's scope for making it a little bit longer.

View original

That's the first time I've got *that* critism! Always with the 'shorter' normally!

Cheers all for feedback

Dan