RYVITA AND JASPER ARE TALKING.
RYVITA
I was just admiring your collection of St George's English flags. You must have hundreds you must be such a fan.
JASPER
Of political correctness! I've been conifscating them all day from white vans, shops, I even had to push an old lady out of her mobility scooter to get the one in her basket.
RYVITA
Well done Jasper. She must have been a total racist and probably voted for Dave Cameron who's worse than Hitler.
JASPER
Good no one should support England in the world cup. They're so racist and sexist.
RYVITA
But who should we support? As Guardian readers it's our duty to set a good example! How about SOuth Africa?
JASPER
No way. By having the world cup they're encouraging thousands of football fans to create 1000s of tonnes of carbon pollution.
RYVITA
Cameroon?
JASPER
No they're probably homophobic, most Africans are.
RYVITA
France?
JASPER
They're imperialists and they don't wash enough.
CAPTION SOME TIME LATER.
RYVITA
So we can't support Germany, Slovenia, Nigeria, South Korea, Japan. Who's left?
JASPER
Hey look North Korea's in the running. Well they don't have any Starbucks so they're anti globalisation.
RYVITA
And they shoot anyone who trys to watch MTV.
JASPER
So they're not subject to evil corporate propaganda. And according to the Pyongang daily worker they're going to build an organic farm on the moon!
RYVITA
North Korea it is! The only sensible team to support.
