INT. LABORATORY - DAY
JUDY AND MARTIN, LABORATORY ASSISTANTS, ARE SETTING UP PETRI DISHES AND MICROSCOPES.
JUDY
So, this is the big day.
MARTIN
Yup, fingers crossed we get that funding.
JUDY CROSSES HER FINGERS.
JUDY
Everything's crossed.
SUDDENLY PROFESSOR NUTFIELD (WILD HAIR, LAB COAT, OVER-SIZED GLASSES, MULTI-COLOURED BOW TIE) CRASHES THROUGH THE DOOR, FALLS ON THE FLOOR, STANDS UP AND THEN STRAIGHTENS HIS BOW TIE.
MARTIN
(EXCITEDLY) Did we get it?
NUTFIELD
Uhm, well, you see, I, uhm...
JUDY
Oh, you're joking?
NUTFIELD
The thing is, you see, we tried our best and, well, I told them everything and, well...
JUDY
I just don't understand it; this research could benefit so many people.
MARTIN
(VERY ANGRY) Why does this keep happening? We prepare our research, go through the correct channels and when you take it to the board they always turn it down.
JUDY
Calm down, Martin; I'm sure the professor tried his best. Maybe next time, eh?
NUTFIELD
Yes, Judy. It's, I say, well...weeee...terribly disappointing. But what can one, do?
JUDY
Hang on; did you do the tie thing?
NUTFIELD
Oh, yes, I, uhm...
NUTFIELD SPINS HIS TIE AROUND
MARTIN
And even that didn't win them over?
NUTFIELD
Well, obviously, uhm, yes, no it didn't.
JUDY
What about the swanee whistle? Did you use it at the end?
NUTFIELD PULLS IT FROM HIS POCKET AND BLOWS FROM HIGH TO LOW.
NUTFIELD
Yes.
JUDY
Well, I for one am finding it really hard to see why they've rejected our application.
MARTIN
I know it sounds ridiculous, but you don't think all the ties and whistles are why we keep getting turned down?
THEY ALL STARE AT EACH OTHER CONSIDERING THE NOTION.
MARTIN
Balloons! Did you give them a balloon dog?
NUTFIELD SMACKS HIS FOREHEAD.
NUTFIELD
No. Completely slipped my mind, chaps!
JUDY
Ahh...well, get back in there then!
NUTFIELD BEGINS BLOWING UP A LONG BALLOON.
END OF SKETCH
