Career

INT. CLASSROOM. DAY.

TEACHER:
You are approaching the end of your schooling, an uncertain future awaits. In recent weeks we have explored various career options. Today our final presentation will involve a friend of mine.... Come in, Roy.

ROY WALKS IN TO THE CLASSROOM. HE IS A TRAMP.

ROY:
Vagrancy, is it for you? If you have a penchant for booze, drugs, sex and lie-ins, then perhaps it might be.

RANDOM PUPIL:
What qualifications do you need?

ROY:
Forget about exams, it's personality we seek. Especially the ability to sell. Years ago I arrived at Kings Cross station as a raw wannabe tramp, and believe you me, I learnt to sell and quick.

RANDOM PUPIL:
What did you sell?

ROY:
Me.... on the plus side though, I'll never suffer from constipation.

RANDOM PUPIL:
What does a typical tramp earn?

ROY:
Uncapped earnings potential... One young woman who got fast-tracked from the tramp apprenticeship scheme, now begs onboard Ryanair.

RANDOM PUPIL:
Wow!

TEACHER:
I recall you saying recently Roy, that you are hoping to attract more females into the industry.

ROY:
Why yes, they are a tad under represented and they do make excellent carers' for baby tramps... Any more questions?

RANDOM PUPIL:
No.

ROY:
In concluding, you'll find we offer a debt-free destitution with minimal overheads.

TEACHER:
Thank you Roy for, if you don't mind me saying, your rather grubby presentation.

ROY:
One tries.... oh, and before I forget, could you spare me some change for a cup of wine?

I like the idea but I thought it lacked your usual wit Nigel. Was a little bit too straight forward with not enough jokes and the characters need to be a little more charismatic :-). I'd have liked one of your visuals too. Perhaps have Roy trying to clear his throat before removing a bottle of Dom Perignon from his jacket, pouring it into a plastic cup and taking a swig. Have him give a "If all else fails" spiel before removing a puppy from his jacket -that's an extra £50 per week......that Pedigree Chum isn't cheap.

Excuse the de-railing. Decent sketch just think you could do alot more with it Nigel.

Cheers
Craig

I would agree that it is a very good idea, but I think you could maybe do more with the premise; for me the Ryanair and carers for baby tramps lines did not really work.