CAROLINE LUCAS IS BEING INTERVIEWED BY A WOMAN JOURNALIST
JOURNALIST
So Caroline Lucas tell the Argos how does it feel to be the first Green MP in the country?
CAROLINE
It's super!
JOURNALIST
And with your elfin smile, green politics and plucky air you may well be the nicest MP in the UK. You've certainly encouraged us to all be a little greener.
CAROLINE
Are you sure about that?
JOURNALIST
Erm yes.
CAROLINE PULLS OUT A HUGE FILE
CAROLINE
Looking in your secret Green party file you've failed to recycle.
JOURNALIST
But I always separate my garbage.
CAROLINE
What about your mother?
JOURNALIST
But we buried her.
CAROLINE
And it'll take years for her to decompose in the earth. What's wrong with a compost heap.
JOURNALIST
You're kidding right?
CAROLINE
I never kid about enviromental politics! What about mr Fluffykins?
JOURNALIST
My cat? He was run over. We ...we cremated him.
CAROLINE
Carbon emissions you monster!
JOURNALIST
You're not an enviromentalist, you're a mentalist! You make me want to...
JOURNALIST FARTS.
CAROLINE
More carbon emissions! Take her away and have her recycled.
JOURNALIST IS DRAGGED OFF BY 2 COPPERS.
JOURNALIST
At least we didn't get a conservative.