Details have been revealed about contributing to Never Write Off The Germans.
You can submit stuff to neverwriteoff@gmail.com or post it on their Twitter.
This is the copy of a brief that has just been sent to me by the show's producer, Ashley Blaker.
NEVER WRITE OFF THE GERMANS is the comedy panel show that pokes a stick at the last few days of World Cup action, separating the truth from the lies, the Bridges from the Terrys and the Capellos from the Crap-ellos. Hosted by Christian O'Connell, the show features the resident English front-two of Andy Parsons and Jon Richardson taking on two guest comedians over a series of rounds that test their World Cup wisdom.
Obviously we will be watching, reading about and listening to as much of the World Cup as possible but we are inevitably going to miss funny and interesting things. This is where you come in. We need you to keep your eyes and ears on the football and to then report back to us each week anything you have found. We are especially interested in anything you may have heard on the radio and which may produce a good audio clip. Remember this is not a TV show so although we can talk about a player's haircut or the look on Adrian Chiles's face as he realises he's now on ITV, we can't show it which may mean the joke loses its impact.
So feel free to send us things you've seen on TV, heard on radio, read in newspapers (broadsheets, tabloids, free papers on the Tube, local papers), magazines or online. The only thing we ask is not to send us things lifted from obvious collections of funny material such as the BBC Sport website's Quotes of the Week page. You can rest assured we'd be looking there ourselves!
More specifically we would like you to look out for the following -
Funny commentary / punditry - any mid-match gaffes, funny moments, Alan Green losing it about a ref etc.The same goes for the pundits during pre-match, half-time and post-match - any funny comments, arguments between the guests, moments of toe-curling
embarrassment.Numbers - we have a round that involves around the guests being given numbers and a clue and they needs to explain the significance. For example, in the last World Cup the number could have been 9 and it was something to do with Sven Goran Eriksson. The answer was the number of times he said 'sorry' in his final press conference. This is a particularly good example as the answer can be revealed with a funny clip, in this case all his sorries cut together. So have a look out for interesting numbers you spot or you can even find your own. You could count how many times something happens in a match or tell us how long it was before something happened (eg how long till Clive Tyledsley mentions
'coalition' in the first England match?). It it has a potential funny audio reveal then all the better but don't worry if it hasn't. Just don't tell us how many cutaways there were to pretty Brazilian girls in the stadium as we can't show them so it isn't much use.Quotes - we need as many potentially funny quotes as possible with which we can test the teams. Bear in mind, the best quotes are not necessarily those that are intrinsically funny but rather have potential for humourous wrong answers when the teams are asked who said it. For example, this week Michael Owen said 'Jamie Carragher has been one of the best centre-backs of the past 12 decades' - a funny quote but not the kind of thing we are after*. A better one from the last World Cup was Freddie Shepherd (remember him!) saying 'When
I saw it on TV, I nearly vomited'. This gives lots of opportunity for funny answers before revealing who it was and that he was talking about Michael Owen's latest injury.*That said, send them over as well, as we may use them elsewhere such as for links
Rants / Phone-Ins - there will be all kind of lunatics from the general public getting themselves on TV and radio and we need as many examples of public passion and idiocy as possible. The obvious first start is 6-0-6 but if you hear anything else please tell us. Five Live has phone-ins within the Sports coverage and at other points of the day. Plus of course there are other radio stations and members of the public will no doubt pop up on TV. Please bear in mind, we will be using these to see if the guests can work out what the
person is going on about.Objects - we have a round in which people are connected to three inanimate objects and the teams have to work out which one is the relevant one and why. For example, this week the person could be Ian Holloway and the three items are a number plate, a condom or a chicken. The answer is the chicken because he revealed in the post-match interview the other night that during his year out of work, he was building chicken sheds. So if you can find any similar connections between person and thing, that would be appreciated.
On top of that, anything else funny or interesting that you spot - even if it doesn't necessarily fit one of the above categories - please please please send out way. How are Sky talking up their World Cup 'coverage'? What gimmicks have your local takeaways and pubs got on? And what puns have you spotted in the papers? Send us anything and everything!
A few final points, can you please send us as much accompanying information as possible? If there was funny moment during a radio match commentary please tell us what channel it was on and what time approximately so we can try to find it. The more identifying info you can give us the better.
Our first recording is before the World Cup on Wednesday 8th June so we need stuff from NOW. Then we are recording every Thursday until 8th July. So it's five weeks of work for which we are willing to pay. We will have FIVE paid spotters who will each get £50 per week. So £250 for doing something you were going to be doing anyway! And if you aren't a paid spotter, anything you send us and we use on air (and which we didn't already have) we will pay you £20. Please send it to neverwriteoff@gmail.com . Thanks very much and enjoy!!! May the best team win (once England been knocked out).
