British Comedy Guide

The all in one Consolidatorised Cricket Thread Page 26

That was a month ago mate!

"Is he an Aussie, Lizzie, is he?
Is he an Aussie, Lizzie eh?
Is it 'cause he is an Aussie that he keeps you busy, Lizzie?
Has he jazzy ways and does he make you go all fuzzy-wuzzy?
Got you dizzy, has he Lizzie, is he an Aussie, Lizziе eh?"

I don't follow cricket, but do think the banter is superb, and this one from a few years ago between the Aussies and England always makes me smile

Aussie to incoming English batsman (?) " You're putting on some weight"

Batsman retort "That's 'cos every time I f**k your wife, she gives me a biscuit"

😆

Come on England you can do this
Weather permitting

It'll be the most undeserved draw ever if the rain saves the Aussies. Their biggest drubbing I've seen in years. England have been outstanding but did they come to the party too late? I think a message should go out to everyone English person in the north west to blow southwards tomorrow morning. We could do with a bit down here.

Puff puff (sorry Beaky)

So a sporting fixture is decided by the weather - how absolutely bloody ridiculous.

Yep typical

We only get scores of nearly 600 runs , when it's bloody pee'ing it down ffs

So a sporting fixture is decided by the weather - how absolutely bloody ridiculous.

The World Cup T20 is on at the moment and not getting much of a mention anywhere.
But the USA beat Pakistan - at cricket.
It was actually a draw so they had a super over to decide it and that was a draw too - so another super over had to decide it.

Then The West Indies V Uganda was not as close. Uganda were all out for 39

The USA look pretty good to me, mostly converts from big cricket playing nations but they're probably through to the next round, and England might not be if it rains again. 😟 But then we have been a bit of a shower ourselves so far. ☹️

As someone commented to me t'other day, Pakistan is really the Dewsbury 1st team and the USA Dewsbury 2nd.

Darley Abbey Cricket Club 4th XI opening batsman, Ian Bestwick, batted for 45 overs, facing 137 balls, without scoring a single run in order to secure a precious draw in the Derbyshire Cricket League Division 9 South bottom of the table clash v Mickleover 3rd XI. https://www.msn.com/en-gb/sport/other/club-cricketer-s-epic-nought-not-out-off-137-balls-secures-bizarre-draw/ar-AA1prYW9?ocid=BingNewsVerp

Geoff Boycott eat your heart out!

That one handed catch from a six into the crowd so he could hang on to his beer a couple of days ago (I don't follow cricket) was a sight to see, and I expect he'll go down in the annals of cricket history

Pakistan v England

England 823-7 declared?!

🤯🤯🤯

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