WE SEE A CLOSE UP OF A MAN LYING ON HIS SIDE.
"My name is Sam Tyler. I had an accident, and I woke up in 1973. Am I mad, in a coma, or back in time? Whatever's happened, it's like I've landed on a different planet. Now, maybe if I can work out the reason, I can get home.
PULL BACK TO REVEAL THAT HE'S ON A SOFA.
WE SEE AN ANGRY WIFE STANDING ABOVE HIM
Wife:
You are home, you're pissed & you left UK Gold on the telly.
You were right about having an accident though.
I'll just put a wash on.
Nice!
Quote: Steve Sunshine @ May 13 2010, 9:41 PM BSTWE SEE A CLOSE UP OF A MAN LYING ON HIS SIDE.
"My name is Sam Tyler. I had an accident, and I woke up in 1973. Am I mad, in a coma, or back in time? Whatever's happened, it's like I've landed on a different planet. Now, maybe if I can work out the reason, I can get home.
PULL BACK TO REVEAL THAT HE'S ON A SOFA.
WE SEE AN ANGRY WIFE STANDING ABOVE HIMWife:
You are home, you're pissed & you left UK Gold on the telly.
You were right about having an accident though.
I'll just put a wash on.
It's a really nice idea, but the wife's dialogue seems a bit stilted to me.
Quote: Rob H @ May 13 2010, 9:57 PM BSTIt's a really nice idea, but the wife's dialogue seems a bit stilted to me.
I was thinking the same.
There's a bit too much I wanted to fit in to try & make it work.
Maybe needs a rethink.
Very clever and very funny. I like it a lot and I think it work great as a sketch especially if the camera panned out to reveal him with a wet crotch on his jeans.
Just drop the last two lines. The wife's opening response had me laughing. The "accident" and the "wash" didn't make it any funnier. Nice one.
Thanks Karlos & Stephen.
I think it would be better to drop the last line or two.
Cheers
Quote: Steve Sunshine @ May 13 2010, 9:41 PM BSTWE SEE A CLOSE UP OF A MAN LYING ON HIS SIDE.
"My name is Sam Tyler. I had an accident, and I woke up in 1973. Am I mad, in a coma, or back in time? Whatever's happened, it's like I've landed on a different planet. Now, maybe if I can work out the reason, I can get home.
PULL BACK TO REVEAL THAT HE'S ON A SOFA.
WE SEE AN ANGRY WIFE STANDING ABOVE HIMWife:
You are home, you're pissed & you left UK Gold on the telly.
You were right about having an accident though.
I'll just put a wash on.
I like it, including the accident/wash bit. I'd just suggest a pause after the wife's first line to give him room for a reaction/ugh and then use accident/wash as the pay off.
Quote: Badge @ May 15 2010, 1:23 AM BSTI like it, including the accident/wash bit. I'd just suggest a pause after the wife's first line to give him room for a reaction/ugh and then use accident/wash as the pay off.
Howsabout?
And you left Uk Gold on the Telly.
But what about the accident?
I'll put a wash on.
Quote: Steve Sunshine @ May 15 2010, 1:30 AM BSTHowsabout?
And you left Uk Gold on the Telly.
But what about the accident?
I'll put a wash on.
Yes, that's snappier. Maybe "my accident?" Nice one.
Nice one, Freve! Never watched L.O.M but it still came across well.
Clever, and the revised ending works much better.