To the tune of The Ballad of John and Yoko by the Beatles.
Sitting in the Jag at Westminster
Trying to get to Buckingham Palace
The man at the gate said, "You've got to go back mate".
She's watchin' some old re-runs of Dallas
Christ you know it ain't easy,
You know how hard it can be.
The way things are going
They're gonna deselect me.
Take a look around the new gaff ,
Trying to find Prescotts two jags.
Gordon Brown called to say,
"Can I swing by today
'Cus I think I left some old porno mags".
Christ you know it ain't easy,
You know how hard it can be.
The way things are going
They're gonna deselect me.
Drove to meet Nick at the Hilton,
Crikey! that blokes such a knob
The newspaper said, "Say what you doing in there?"
I said, "Well I've got to find this dick head a job!".
Christ you know it ain't easy,
You know how hard it can be.
The way things are going
They're gonna deselect me.
Spending all your money on the NHS
Giving out dole cheques like charity.
Last night the Queen said,
"Oh Dave, when I'm dead
I'm gonna leave the country to
Prince Charles - shit!"
Made a trip up the town to see Maggie,
try and cheer up the old hag.
We back at the top Maam, "what was that young man?"
Are you here to change my colostomy bag?"
Christ you know it ain't easy,
You know how hard it can be.
The way things are going
They're gonna deselect me.
Obama called me up around seven.
Said he'd help in any way that he can
And then he went on, "With that Scottish twat gone
Aint it time that we just nuked Iran?".
Christ you know it ain't easy,
You know how hard it can be.
The way things are going
They're gonna deselect me.
The way things are going
They're gonna deselect me.