3 in a bed.

SAM CAM WALKS ON STAGE WITH A CUSHION SHOVE UP HER TOP.

NICK CLEGG IS IN BED.

SAM
So you finally won?

NICK
Yes sweet heart. We won.

SAM PULLS CUSHION OUT FROM HER TOP AND THROWS IT AWAY

SAM
Thank God I can finally stop pretending to be pregnant. Now move over darling and lets have a celebratory shag. Let's screw each other like you screwed the liberals.

THEY CUDDLE

DAVE CAMERON WALKS ON

DAVE
That should be my little Samalama ding dong.

SAM
What but you're Nick and you're Dave?

DAVE
Oh that's alright sweetness no one can really tell us apart.

SAM AND DAVE HUG.

DAVE
Come on Nick join in.

SAM
How's this going to work?

NICK
It's alright Sam I'm used to coming from behind and taking Dave's shite.

Not one of your best. I bit confusing for a simplon like me.

I found it muddled, I'm afraid.

Sorry, soots. Agree with above, a bit messy.

Sooty, brilliant idea... I don't know why it's confusing for the other guys, but... yes, very messy, as the messrs. above said. My suggestion would run something like follows:

SAM CAMERON. SHE'S HEAVILY PREGNANT.

DAVID CAMERON IS IN BED.

SAM
So you finally won?

DAVID CAMERON
Yes sweetheart. We won.

SAM PULLS CUSHION OUT FROM HER TOP AND THROWS IT AWAY

SAM
Won't be needing that any more then! Oh darling, I love you.

DAVID CAMERON
I love you too, darling. Let's have a celabratory shag.

SAM
Screw me like you screwed the liberals! Ooh!

THEY JUMP ON TOP OF EACH OTHER.

THE REAL DAVID CAMERON WALKS INTO THE BEDROOM

THE REAL DAVID CAMERON
What the hell's going on here!?

SAM
Darling!?

She turns to see DAVID CAMERON in bed, but insteads finds NICK CLEGG.

SAM
But--! I thought it was-- I don't understand.

THE REAL DAVID CAMERON
Oh that's alright, sweetness. No one can tell us apart.

SAM
So what do we do now?

THE REAL DAVID CAMERON
Spitroast.

NICK CLEGG AKA DAVID CAMERON
Brilliant!

THE REAL DAVID CAMERON
Come on, Nick. Be a good chap and get in the middle.

NICK CLEGG AKA DAVID CAMERON
What?

THE REAL DAVID CAMERON
Have you still got that strap-on, dear.

SAM WAVES A BE-DILDO'D PIECE OF LINGERIE.

THE REAL DAVID CAMERON
I'm going to enjoy this.