Something Stupid

This would work best on stage. Use your imagination to fit the words to the tune.

'Something Stupid'

Scene, spot lighted only.

A couple late 30's early 40's, they've stopped trying and the love has gone.

They rotate in a waltzing dance, the singer facing the audience and the non singers back to the audience they look at each other with hands held together at chest height for the parts that are sung 'together'.

Lights fade up as music starts to play, man and woman are in a cold waltz-like dancing embrace, swaying gently but uncomfortably.

Lights fade up, as music starts.

To the tune of 'Something Stupid' Frank and Nancy Sinatra.

(woman) I know I'll stand in line for the bus 'cus you're too tight to call a taxi

(man) and if we go someplace to eat I know that there's a chance that you won't fit in your seat

man looks down at her arse over her shoulder as it faces the audience and shudders implying it's large, she turns to look at him and scowls, as he innocently smiles, she knows something bad was implied by his look.

(woman) And afterwards we drop into a grotty little pub to neck a pint or two

(together)And all because we spoiled it all by saying something stupid like 'I .......do'

Man shakes his head mournfully as he takes his turn to face the audience

(man) I can see it in your stride, your ass so wide that you barely fit through the door

(woman) you buy just one drink and get two straws. God! you never seemed this tight before.

(man) I practice every day with guns and knives so one day I can be rid of you.

(woman) well, get it done 'cus I can't wait or take another day and night with you.

(man) The thought it fills my head, your blood so red and of your face so blue

(together)And all because we spoiled it all by saying something stupid like 'I .... do'

(together)And all because we spoiled it all by saying something stupid like 'I .... do'

(together)And all because we spoiled it all by saying something stupid like 'I ..... do'

fade out as per song......

I don't think this scans very well, which put me off a bit.
And some of the lines have repetitions,
like Day rhyming with day for example

I practice every day with guns and knives so one day I can be rid of you.

Hi Steve, thanks for that, the double 'day' didn't really register with me but I take your point. Before you write it off completely try playing the original song on YouTube and sing along using my lines. It helps. Like I said you have to stretch a word or two to make it fit. Maybe I can change it to 'I practice every night with guns and knives so one day I can be rid of you.' I am also mildy drunk so there maybe a msitake or two. Don't worry I don't have a problem, it's late over here.

If some of the wors have to be stretched or said in a certain way then it may be better to use different words.

Fopr example Take the original line:
"I practice every day to find some clever
lines to say
To make the meaning come through"

Your line is a few syllables short
I practice every day with guns and knives so one day I can be rid of you.

In order to scan, It would need to be something like:
I practice every day with Guns & Knives and diff'rent ways to think of murdering you.

greetings Karl
nice mood prep, good idea, hope this dance is an excuse me [yes, I have witnessed many summers ] but I feel the urge to cut in. So while were playing around with the words/scans, lets try

man] I practice every day, with evil weaponry to make you history

woman] Charming babe I,m sure , but what I've gave you, has no cure .
you'll die in agony.

pleasant dreams. smos

Okey dokey all!! I'll have a play around with the lines and see if I can get them to fit a little better. I'll post a revised version soon.

Now it works!! Thanks all and thanks to Steve Sunshine for the loan of the line. Some lines you have to start on the beat, instead of waiting for Frank to come in. eg, for my birthday last....

(woman) I know I split my time between the oven and the sink then watch you scoffing your tea

(man) well, if we go someplace to eat I know that there's a chance that you won't fit in your seat

man looks down at her arse over her shoulder as it faces the audience and shudders implying it's large, she turns to look at him and scowls, as he innocently smiles, she knows something bad was implied by his look.

(woman) for my Birthday last we dropped into a grotty little pub to neck a pint or two

(together) And all because we spoiled it all by saying something stupid like 'I .......do'

Man shakes his head mournfully as he takes his turn to face the audience

(man) I can see it in your stride, your ass so wide that you're barely fitting through the door

(woman) you buy just one drink and get two straws. God! you never seemed so tight before.

(man) I practice every day with guns and knives and some different ways of murdering you..

(woman) oh god, I'd rather die than spend another boring, sweaty night alone with you

(man) Every night the thought it fills my head, your blood so red and of your face so blue

(together) And all because we spoiled it all by saying something stupid like 'I .... do'

(together) And all because we spoiled it all by saying something stupid like 'I .... do'

(together) And all because we spoiled it all by saying something stupid like 'I ..... do'

fade out as per song......