A BAILIF IS ON STAGE
BAILIF (TO OFF STAGE)
Look Mr Brown we know you're in there.
BROWN(OFF STAGE)
No I'm not. I'm Alistair Darling's cat. Meow.
BAILIF
You're not a cat. We know John Prescott mistook for a hairy pie and ate it.
BROWN
Erm I'm Jaqui Smith. Down with men ban all penises, page 3 is rape.
BAILIF
Mr Brown you're not Jaqui Smith she lost her seat faster then her husband loses his mess.
BROWN
Erm I'm Barrack Obama. So you can see I am Brown.
BAILIF
Right that's it we're going to get nasty. Bring on the old lady.
OLD LADY WALKS ON
OLD LADY
Where are all these eastern europeans flocking from?
GORDON RUNS ON STAGE
GORDON
Grrr I'll get you you bigot! Oh damn you got me out of Number 10.
BAILIF
We're not here for your house. It's the 170 billion pounds you owe the IMF.
GORDON
Jings and crivens.
OLD LADY
Get the one eyed tax trousering snake!
BAILIF AND OLD LADY BEAT UP GORDON
like it Soot.