Good Lords

A ROOM FULL OF OLD MEN IN TOP HATS & TAILS SITTING AROUND RELAXING OR CONVERSING.ONE OF THE MEN (LORD FAVERSHAM) IS STANDING NEAR THE DOOR TRYING TO GET THEIR ATTENTION.

LORD FAVERSHAM:
Right Chaps we need to make Haste, We are being Picked up at 1900 hours.

LORD PIPKIN:
Picked up? What on earth are you talking about man?

LORD FAVERSHAM:
We went through all of this earlier! There's a carriage coming for us. We've all been bought by a A mysterious gentleman.

LORD FARQUHAR:
You're talking Gibberish Old fellow, what do you mean we've been all been bought?

LORD FAVERSHAM:
We're a Christmas present. How many times do I have to explain?

LORD PIPKIN:
What would anyone want with 10 Lords for heavens sake.

LORD FAVERSHAM:
I'm not entirely sure to be honest, but 50 Guineas is 50 Guineas, now come on hurry up get your cape on, our carriage will be here forthwith.

LORD PIPKIN:
And when we get there what would you have us do? Just stand around being noble?

LORD FAVERSHAM:
Yes a little bit, but more importantly we all need to Leap.

LORD PIPKIN:
Well that won't be a problem look half of us are asleep already.

LORD FAVERSHAM:
No Leap, Leap (DEMONSTRATES WITH A TWO INCH JUMP OFF THE FLOOR)

LORD PIPKIN:
That sounds ever so odd to me. Are you quite sure he didn't ask for 10 Lords a Sleeping?.

LORD FAVERSHAM:
No It's definitely Leaping, look here's the receipt.

LORD FARQUHAR:
It's just that we're all jolly good at sleeping, but most of us don't have much leaping experience.

LORD PIPKIN:
Why Don't you just Telephone the fellow & check?

LORD FAVERSHAM:
I did try earlier but there was too much noise to make out a damn word the fellow was saying.

LORD PIPKIN:
Noise? What sort of noise?

LORD FAVERSHAM:
Well I can't be certain, but it sounded rather like a Milkmaid being attacked by Geese whilst strangling a French Hen with a Gold Ring.

LORD PIPKIN:
Doesn't sound very safe to me.

LORD FAVERSHAM:
Well it's too late to back out now, besides I think I hear Horses. Come on chaps it is time for us to be delivered as it were.

THE LORDS ALL GET UP SLIGHTLY BEWILDERED AND START GRUMBLING AND SHUFFLING TOWARDS THE DOOR

LORD FAVERSHAM:
Do you Call that leaping? Put some effort in for heavens sake.

THE LORDS MAKE HALF HEARTED ATTEMPTS TO RAISE A LEG OR MAKE A TINY JUMP ON THEIR WAY OUT

LORD FAVERSHAM:
And you Lord Brooke-Greene!

LORD BROOKE GREENE GETS UP AND MAKES A LARGE BALLETIC LEAP TOWARDS THE DOOR ENDING WITH A THEATRICAL SPIN.

LORD BROOKE GREENE:
You know what? I just love Christmas!

END

This is a good idea, and I like the punch, but I would suggest that it could be a little sharper and you could get there a little quicker. I am not sure you have quite Faversham's voice quite right, it seems to wobble a bit between the modern and the olde worlde.

Agree with Timbo. I got it by the line: "What would anyone want with 10 Lords for heavens sake." So nothing after that really surprised me.

I really liked the Lords-a-sleeping confusion, though. So maybe the sketch could be Lord Faversham trying to collect a few more sleeping Lords to help him complete his task - before then becoming apoplectic when he finds out that they are all to be humiliated by cavorting around like common people for some Christmas jingle.

Mind you, I also liked the picture you painted of the melee on the other end of the phone. Almost as if some poor P.A. was having to pull all these groups in together for a photoshoot to launch the new Christmas song.

I like this idea. I think it would look very good acted out. Basically the guy is buying the content of a song which is very strange. I like that

Enjoyed this, face value could question it but take a step back and it works as obvious as it is.

Thinking in the line of Brain Surgeon - That Mitchell & Webb Look

Nice

I'm with Kasm. Perhaps you should hold back on "leaping" until later on.
It gives the game away, too soon. Love the idea, tho. Good stuff,

Thanks all.
I think Timbo's right about the voice.
I think I rushed it a bit, having said that I didn't know quite where I was going with it apart from the sillyness of the idea.

Brilliant idea, if a mite unseasonal. I have no problem with the connection to the song being flagged early, it's the premise that's funny and the discussion that goes around it. The 'Too Many Cooks' Big Train sketch is a good example of this.

Agree with Timbo that it could use a bit of tightening but otherwise excellent.

I'd echo the tightening of the end, but this is damned good.

One of the best premises I've seen on here - cracking stuff.

Cheers Dave & Rick.
I'll definitely try to give this a rewrite.
I'm just not sure whether I need to change it that much.

I had another look.

If it was an exercise where I had to make a cut to it - I'd get rid of the leaping/sleeping part - instead going straight to the phone call, some complaint about not being able to make it out ('cos that jokes grand) and that'd be that.

I'm not sure if it needs cutting either. I'm trying to picture it acted rather than just reading it, but on the first read-through I did lose a little towards the end - and I think that's why.

It IS fine as it is too though.

Not sure how much help that was...sorry!

Alright, Steve. Very amusing sketch. The only thing is it felt too predictable. I wouldn't necessarily cut any of the core content, but maybe cut down the size of the geese etc bits, cos it's a funny idea that feels just slightly too over-extended. Try and surprise us a bit more after the initial bit, too -- if possible -- or at least cut some of the words out.

Does that critique make sense to you?

[EDIT]
@ Rick: To be honest, I liked the leaping/sleeping bit. But it does make the sketch go on a bit.

The Critique does make sense.
I think I'll leave this one a while & have another look at it at come Christmas.

For me it has some classic Sunshine moments but there's something that doesn't quite gel as it stands.

I know that is really useful to you.

Maybe you need to pack in a quick rash of song references once you've revealed, and then get out. Or maybe play on the idea that lots of people don't actually know how many Lords it is a-Leaping. Actually, I'm not sure myself - there seem to be different versions. Something to play with anyway. Maybe.