Currently under construction
Thanks
War Quotes
I don't like the end at all. I see it going better if the PM says 3 completely ridiculous quotes and then uses the 'fight for what's right' quote but longer and more profound, maybe he stands up and is spotlighted against a dark background while rousing patriotic music (land of hope and glory) plays in the background, it's a fantastic awe inspiring speech. Then he sits back down, music stops and he asks Wuthers 'well what do you think?' Wuthers looks slanty eyed, tight lipped and sucks in air through his teeth (he doesn't like it but doesn't want to be too critical) and says 'let me hear the first one again?' End of sketch.
How about twisting the ending:
PM
What's that, Wuthers?
WUTHERS
Well, it is only an electricity bill, Sir.
Cheers Karlos and Mr Birch, thanks for your thoughts. Sounds like the ending isn't popular, shame, I thought it tied it up alright. Back to the drawing board.
I did think it was funny but if it were me
I'd cut out the middle for another sketch.
Make the speech Impressive & rousing,
But we're not at war sir.
We will be soon "Throws Dart"
You don't waste a speech like this Wuthers!
or something
The punchline doesn't work. It's not funny because it breaks (not bends) any required suspension of disbelief.
The Prime Minister is going to war on nothing more than a whim, that's fine as an idea, but it doesn't fit with your opening section.
In short - the build up is believable, in a nice, silly way. But the payoff isn't. It just doesn't ring true.
My advice: if you like the sketch as it is, rewrite the Prime Minister as a drunk. That's probably the only way you can get away with the ending as it stands. I.e. as a drunk, you've freed up the character to make decisions without any logic or reasoning.
Thanks, Don, much appreciated. It obviously needs changing you're all saying similar things.
(Thanks, Mr Sunshine )